Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Should I tell my ex wife about this? Please tell me the right thing to do.?

I am divorced but my ex wife and I are still on friendly terms. I work for a news organization and I saw a news report that the current boyfriend of my ex wife was on probation for domestic violence. I am not sure what I should do about this information if anything. I talk to my ex wife rarely and she tells me what a good boyfriend she has. I doubt if she knows about his conviction for domestic violence.

Should I tell her? Who she has as a boyfriend is really none of my business but as a friend I think she should know about his conviction for domestic violence. I am torn between telling her and my desire not to get involved in her relationships.

Gals, if you were my ex wife would you want me to tell you?

4 Answers

  • RP
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Best Answer

    Rather than telling her, if you feel the obligation, you might mention you saw his name in an article and suggest she might want to check it for herself.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I don't get why you even have to ask! If you're on friendly terms, she'll know this isn't some weird form of jealousy or whatever.

    Also, I totally disagree with the advice you text this to her. That's idiotic. Ideally you'd tell her in person, but if not, at least make it a phone call, where you can actually talk. The other reason you'd do this is because DV types are always controlling and jealous. For all you know, he could be looking over her shoulder as she reads it. Or he could look through her phone.

  • 1 month ago

    It's curious that you "saw a news report" on this unless you also saw news about the story that led to it. If this is floating around in print.. why would you "doubt" she knows anything about it? Of course she'd want to know this "news" you think is somehow a secret even though it's come across the wire (or you've been investigating him).

  • Ramona
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    It's hard to swallow bad news about the one you're with. What reaction you get by telling her, you'll never know. She won't like it but she'll either be thankful, insulted, intruded on, embarrassed, defensive.

    If I were you, I'd not make a big deal about it by beating around the bush, send her a text with a link to the news bit or article with a short message, "Hey, I thought you should know, do what you feel you need to do with this information" I care. - Dave!"

    Then wait until she texts you and then don't put much effort into it later down the line.

    She's an adult and can make decisions about her own life but she needs to be informed.

    You not saying much, just makes you look like you aren't trying to sabotage her but to just inform her. Don't press any further opinion unless she asks.

    Good luck!

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