Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingTrying to Conceive · 1 month ago

Started crying while trying to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time?

It's just awful I felt weird and sad, I wasn't wet at all, I had these bad feeling inside me and I was not in the mood. He didn't force me or anything, he noticed how I started to cry (we had just taken off our clothes, not even started actually), came to me and told me no dont cry... and hugged me tight and gave me back my clothes. He asked me why but I didnt know what to answer. I judt hate sex. I hate the whole idea of it. I dont understand why it should be done. I felt cold, bad and wanted to stop it. It wasnt about him (I love him) but about me. I'm bot able to be like a normal person because I was never one. I told him how I never had a normal life since I was a child, I was never loved or cuddled or protected. As I went to school I was hit and no one did anything. I am judt afraid that the person in front of me will hit me, hate me or mistreat me. Deep down I'm afraid he will do that too, although he has always been sweet and caring with me. But still, in the back of my mind, I never trust anyone. I felt really empty when I was naked with him. I also shivered, he noticed immediately that something was wrong and in that moment I started to cry he was shocked and his face so sad. He insisted that I should tell him everything that happened but a lot of things actually happened. Days before he had told me how he found that I was cute and his ideal type of girl and started saying many romantic things, but I just don't see all this beauty, I felt empty. 

8 Answers

  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    1 month ago
    Best Answer

    Whatever happened to you earlier in life has emotionally affected you greatly. If you haven't considered counseling, please do. You have someone who loves you and whom you obviously love as well, and while you want to be as intimate with him as he wants to be with you, those incidents that happened before didn't allow you to do that. He understood, (A GREAT SIGN), confide in him; let it all come out. HE sees you as beautiful! In time, with patience, perhaps you'll see yourself that way as well. You and he sound meant for each other... If you do decide counseling may be an option, perhaps he should be there with you.... Best of luck!

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You need to end it with this guy and get into some intensive therapy to try to recover from your past. You've got absolutely no business trying to be in a romantic relationship until you're emotionally healthy enough to function normally. People who try to use past trauma as an excuse for abnormal behavior without even trying to fix themselves are the scourge of humanity.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You sound so stupid and uneducated moron

  • nanu
    Lv 5
    1 month ago


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  • Mikey
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Okay, so what is your question?

  • Lili
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    First of all, you obviously shouldn't have sex if you don't want to, so don't even try to do it as long as you are feeling as you do.

    Second, you need to see a therapist for fairly long-term treatment. You've got a lot of emotional/psychological issues, and frankly, I'm not sure you should even be in a relationship, sexual or not, until you resolve them. Your attitude towards sex isn't normal, and you need to deal with that, but it's clearly connected to a lot of other problems you've had or have.

    Please seek professional help ASAP. Good luck.

  • 1 month ago

    I am so sorry your first time experience wasnt pleasurable for you in any way and it was really wonderful that your boyfriend respected your wishes and that you were with someone you felt comfortable with.

    I am going to suggest therapy, because it seems as if you have alot of issues from past hurts and its totally okay to seek the help you need to have the type of lifestyle you want.

    If you decide you never want sex, that's ok too.

  • Jay R
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    What is your question?

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