How to make my son behave?

My sons behaviour is out of hand. Idk what to doHe doesn’t listen to anything we say,he doesn’t respond when we speak, we have to say ‘answer me’ and repete ourselves. He throws tantrums when he is made to do something he doesn’t want to do e.g. go to bed. He lashes out and hits, kicks, nibs and pulls hair when he is made to do it. We have made a star chart and said if he gets three stars then he gets to watch tv for 30 mins before bed (he is addicted to the TV) but when I say ‘eat your veg or you won’t get the star for it’ or ‘tidy your toys or you won’t get the star to watch tv’ he doesn’t care. So we don’t watch the tv which he loves so much. I say ‘finish your homework or we can’t go to the park’ he doesn’t care. So we don’t go to the park to play which he really enjoys and always makes new friends. We tell him that if he has five days a week with three stars then he gets to choose a new toy from the shop and he was so excited about the idea but doesn’t work to get the stars and when threatened not to watch the tv that evening and not to get a toy on Sunday- he doesn’t care.

 

When he hits we put him in time out and he doesn’t care. If I say ‘this is your warning, next time you will go to time out’ he will do it again and take himself to the corner. 

No rewards make him behave, no punishment makes him behave. I have shouted at him, his dad has shouted at him for pulling my hair and he never looks ashamed or reacts in anyway to the shouting like crying.

What should we do? 

10 Answers

Relevance
  • 4 days ago

    You are not consistent so his behavior is terrible now you pay the price.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Well for one since the star chart isn't working, I'd stop doing it and start doing something different with the discipline. For example next time he refuses to do something or he does something wrong, do a supernanny style timeout. Place him in a room on a stool or whatever you're using for timeouts and explain to him why he's there. If he gets out of the timeout area, put him back in and after the timeout is over explain again why he was there and say " I want an apology", if he apologizes in an angry tone of voice or he's refusing to apologize leave him in timeout until he gives you a proper apology. It's also important to give your son lots of praise and encouragement because some of this sounds like your child probably isn't getting enough attention.

  • 1 month ago

    A belt to the backside

    You don't need to take the brat to a therapist, that's sick and sad that parents rush to take a NORMAL bratty child to see a therapist so they can have a label put on the child

    He will listen if you MAKE him. You tell him something once and only once and then smack him when he won't do it and tell him since he would not listen and do as told he was smacked and will be smacked again if he chooses not to listen

    So what if he throws a fit at bed time., You put him to bed and ignore all screaming and crying. If he gets up you put him right back to bed, say nothing.

    If he hits and kicks then you take a belt ot his back side. Its a MYTH that smacking teaches a child to hit.

    Cut off the TV compete. He throws fits due to you letting him do what he wants

    If eh won't eat his vegs then he either sits at the table until he does or he gets the same thing at the next meal time and has to eat it or gets nothing else what so ever until next meal time and its the same thing. He will not starve himself

    You tell him to pick his toys up or you will take them and since he's a brat and won't listen you will end up taking all the toys way and won't give them back. Let him throw a fit and tell him since he would not listen and pick the toys up he can't have any

    Stop letting him choose toys at the shop. If you go shopping tell he can't have any toys what so ever since he refuses to listen and refuses to pick them up. If he throws a fit you smack him like a good parent and refuse to give in

    Time outs never work. You have to smack him

  • 1 month ago

    You don't mention how old he is. He clearly doesn't care about stars on a chart, so forget that method. Most kids respond better to positive attention than negative attention -- and it sounds like much of your interaction with him is negative. Start praising the behavior you want to encourage and be specific. "You picked your toys up -- good job!" Give him positive attention when he does something good: let him watch half an hour of TV, read him a story, whatever he enjoys doing with you. Most kids prefer feeling good about themselves rather than being yelled at all the time.

    • Amaretta
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Children aged 4-9 are no longer toddlers. But this method works for toddlers as well as older children. Constantly yelling at a child doesn't not work because they learn to tune it out.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Adam
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    either beat your kid or other kids are gonna do it for u

  • 1 month ago

    This is a complicated answer. Punishment doesn't work for young children, so I wouldn't expect him to care.

    Use wait time when you ask him something. Wait at least 5 seconds and see if he answers you.

    Praise him for every step of something he does correctly. Label it - "you cleaned up!" or whatever he does that's 'good.'

    Don't use TV as a threat. Say, instead, first eat your veggies, then we will be able to watch tv. Use first/then A LOT. First finish homework, then we can go to the park. See the difference? State things positively and what you want to happen, not what won't happen.

    How old is he? He needs to learn to identify his feelings - like disappointment. Teach emotions to him when he is calm. Talk about your emotions and how you deal with strong emotions.

    State your directions calmly and matter of fact. Then wait. Don't say anything else. Wait, wait, wait. If he doesn't do it, say something to your husband like, "I can't wait for him to get his jammies on! I know he can do it. He's so smart." then your husband can say something like, "Yes! I know he can. I can't wait to read books with him! It will be so fun." That's called cross talk. Use it A LOT.

    Anyway - there is so much. It sounds like he might be doing this to get your attention. Pay A TON of attention when he does the right thing, and ignore the misbehavior as much as you can. Good luck.

    • Tomalochk
      Lv 6
      1 month agoReport

      This might be a 7 or 8 year old toddler , punishment isn't necessarily the best way to reach out to a youth at this age .

  • 1 month ago

    Have you taken him 2 see a therapist?

  • art
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    a good slap on the bum works wonders

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Send him to military schoo!👹

    • Tomalochk
      Lv 6
      1 month agoReport

      This child is probably too young for that ...it could be a toddler between 4 and 9 years old is all .

  • 1 month ago

    My friend's daughter was encouraged to watch Supernanny on Youtube in that situation. It is discipline based on absolutely reliable consequences.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.