East asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 4 months ago

How to politely make it clear that everyone is paying for his/her own meal?

The university that several friends and I graduated from has its own alumni clubhouse with a restaurant and bar in it.  In order to buy anything there, you have to join and be a dues-paying member.  You pay by giving your membership number; cash and credit cards are not accepted.  I am a member but my friends are not.

They like going there for dinner, and I do as well.  I’m happy to go there.  But sometimes they don’t even offer to pay; they’ll say “thanks for dinner”.

Not cool; they all make plenty of money and they don’t pay for me when we go elsewhere, to reciprocate.

Rude of me to say, before we go to dinner again, “I’m fine with going to the alumni club as long as we each pay our own way.  PayPal or the like is fine.”

I dislike bringing up payment but I dislike being taken advantage of.

Thanks.

10 Answers

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  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    4 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    "Going to the club is a great idea. But I'm been having a problem with the club. ... My bill at the end of the month has been getting bigger and bigger. I'm afraid I can't pick up the tab for everyone quite so often. How are we going to do this?"

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  • 4 months ago

    If you don't know how to be polite, I don't know what to tell you. Seems simpler just to go elsewhere where not everything is on your tab.

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  • 4 months ago

    i wouldnt bother going out with them if theyre going to do that

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  • g
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Dont invite them to the clubhouse, is the easiest course of action. Ask where everyone would like to go, offer alternatives.

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  • `
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Next time say "let's go to another restaurant where everyone can pay their own bill."

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  • 4 months ago

    Your problem is that it's a bunch of non-members and bunches don't tend to reciprocate.

    Unless you can claim it back as a legitimate business or professional expense, they simply have to pay.

    Just say you're happy to go there but the rules are that it's members-only, so non-members are guests who are expected to reimburse their host at the end of the meal.

    If I was a guest I'd probably pay you my fair share of the bill in cash at the end of the meal. Just like students will pay into the kitty.

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  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Just tell them.

    “I’m happy to get you all into the alumni club but you really do need to pay for your own orders. Obviously, I can't afford to treat you all! Cash or Paypal is fine.”

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  • Frank
    Lv 5
    4 months ago

    Grow a f#cking backbone you idiot.

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  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Could it be you are a lot richer money wise?  If not, I would stay away from them. 

    You can Pray to GOD about this also? 

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  • Marko
    Lv 6
    4 months ago

    I find it quite easy to tell someone that it's their turn to pay. By the way, they owe you a free dinner. good luck.

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