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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 6 months ago

I caught my BF watching porn ?

ever since we’ve been together he has always acted as if he doesn't do “stuff” like that. He asks me if I watch porn, and I tell him (yes sometimes) he tells me watching stuff like that is gross to him, and that it has never interested him, and I actually believed him, he would tell me so many things, that I actually believed I was being dirty, and that if my BF didn’t watch stuff like that, I shouldn’t either. One day I decided to check his phone, which I never do, he always asks to see my phone and I always show it to him , when I asked him for his, he got angry and weird , and basically fought him. So i saw that he had looked up for a bunch of pages with naked girls, and I told him “wtf is this, I thought you didn’t like this ****, I thought I was disgusting and you weren’t” and he responded with “this is my business I don’t have to tell you my business, why would I have to tell you my personal stuff” and that got me so mad !!! Because I feel stupid, I feel manipulated , like how did I believe this guys was fuc*ken pure lolll, I was thinking about leaving him, only because of how manipulated I felt, and how easy he could do it. Should I have not told him my business , i feel like lying is not good, i don’t want to make him believe I’m this person when I’m not, I don’t see anything wrong with watching those stuff , why would I lie, was I wrong for telling him my stuff, is he right for what he did 

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  • 6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Literally every single man that has access to porn watches it. Every single one. Even the pope watches porn.

    He's lying to you about watching it because men are not stupid and they know that their girl won't find it very romantic if they knew their man was watching porn, and he got defensive with you when he got caught because he's kindof right that what he searches on his phone is his own private business. You're right that lying is bad, but there's a difference between lying and "white lies". Saying he doesn't watch porn is a white lie to make you feel special - it's not a lie worth dumping him over.

    My husband tells me he doesn't watch porn, and I pretend to believe him, but whenever I leave the house and he's still at home I make a joke with him that I should leave a box of tissues and some lotion for him, and we both laugh about it.

    It sounds to me like you're not actually that angry over the porn because you think it's disgusting, but rather because you feel threatened by the porn actresses, so you're taking your insecurity out on him. It if makes you feel any better, guys know that the girls in pornos are fake (fake acting and fake looking). They're just looking to get their rocks off for a moment, there's no emotional attachment, and once they're done they go have their real relationship with their girlfriend.

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  • Brian
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    It almost sounds as if you were looking for an excuse to ditch him and you finally found it. You admit to watching it so why stop to think that he doesn't? It doesn't bother you that you do but it does that he does even if he wouldn't fess up to it? Perhaps you both need to find others and start off with a clean slate.

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  • 6 months ago

    Guys deny watching porn all the time because they are sick and tired of being shamed and questioned about it by women.

    They watch porn, so what? ALL of them, including your father.

    Not sure what the big deal is. And i'm also not sure why you think it's appropriate to take it upon yourself and go through someone else's phone.

    Yes give him a gift, and leave him.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    To be honest, he's probably getting less and less attracted to you.

    I mean, everyone always says "I don't watch porn," because they think it would put other people off, if they knew they did watch it.

    The reality is, he's a guy. Yes, he probably said that he didn't watch porn (and he probably didn't at the time & was telling the truth.)

    But I do know this - when guys start going off their girls, they go back to porn. It is just something you have to accept and realise.

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  • 6 months ago

    He's ashamed of doing it. He thinks it's wrong but does it anyway. I do believe what is on his phone is his business and don't know why couples insist on looking. I think we are all entitled to a private life in addition to the one we have with someone else. He lied because he didn't want you to know. He doesn't find it as acceptable as you do.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    make a porn with his best friend in the same manner he was watching.. worked for me

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