Do you recommend a 27 yo gay dude to get into the so called "incel forums", or do they hate gay men as well. I don't hate women at all?
I'm just too sexually frustrated because I can't have a partner not even for a night due to a schizoaffective disorder that I do have and makes it hard for me to interact socially. Help would be GREATLY appreciated.
- iammclaneLv 72 months agoBest Answer
Everybody has some sort of "difference" about the way they interact with other people. Nobody is entirely like the writers of novels and screenplays make their sympathetic characters out to be. We all have "quirks".
Maybe you have a hard time meeting people, or difficulty with trust, or anger. Maybe you don't enjoy life in the ways that other people do (or even know WHAT you enjoy). None of that means you can't have a relationship.
You first have to find people who are willing to work with you, and then you have to find a mode of dealing with them that is comfortable, and that you can maintain.
To find people who like you enough to accept your quirks, you could try meeting people in a way that doesn't put so much emphasis on your personality (as getting to know people in strictly a "dating" or "pick-up" scene does.) That means instead of using apps or going to gay drinking/dancing establishments, you join in activities. Sooner or later, if you are involved in enough activities for long enough, you are going to meet people...potential lovers.
To find a comfortable mode for dealing with them - something that is not fake or strained, which you can maintain indefinitely - you might need some professional help. The goal to that is not to make your disorder go away - that may not be possible. Instead it is to provide you with techniques to keep your disorder from trampling the toes of people who would like to get to know you. This would include providing you with ways to talk about the disorder in an honest, constructive way. It could also make you more sensitive to the impact the disorder could have on the other person's feelings or perceptions, and equip you to mitigate that.
If you WANT to give up trying to date, that's fine. Lots of people don't date anymore, and they might miss sex, but they find they're happier and more relaxed in general. But if you're young and this distresses you, there's no reason to consider it hopeless just because you aren't all Ozzie & Harriet.
- River EuphratesLv 72 months ago
I've never actually heard the incel opinion on gay men, but I'm willing to bet they blame homosexuals (along with everything else in the world) for why they can't get laid.
- nineteenthlyLv 72 months ago
Incels are mentally ill and it's like a lobster pot. Avoid at all costs. And yes they are also very homophobic. I mean, REALLY homophobic. DO. NOT. GO. THERE.
- Anonymous2 months ago
Go some place where it is legal like vegas and buy a prostitute. Make sure she’s not being trafficked or working for a pimp. That will get you to relax.
And leave that group. You don’t need it.
Join some clubs in person. By joining a group you meet a lot of instant acquaintances. Maybe some will become friends.
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- Anonymous2 months ago
Incels are all about women. There's no point unless you want to DATE another incel.
- ChrissyLv 62 months ago
Most incel forums do hate gay men. Why would you wanna join one anyways?
- JustinLv 72 months ago
There is always an upside to any downside.
Instead of focusing on the downside of this 'disorder,' you should recognize that the mind ALWAYS compensates for a weakness with a concentrated strength. That means that EVERYONE with a disorder like yours also has a form of concentrated genius operating inside that same mind. Instead of trying to directly 'fix' the disorder or work around it, you should locate and amplify this hidden form of genius, whether it is artistic, mechanical or intellectual.
The mind has the natural mechanisms to 'heal' itself, (which I believe comes from GOD). Just as the antidote to natural poisons nearly always grows alongside the poison, the 'fix' to disorders of the mind develops inside the same mind and only needs to be recognized and released. This requires cultivating the newly recognized genius until an environment develops around it. It is inside this environment that you will find what you are looking for. I seriously doubt that anyone else has already created it for you as some kind of 'forum.'
Even just committing to its discovery will have immediate positive effects. Once you realize your hidden 'gifts,' you can focus on them until other people are attracted by your use of them. You never need to try to manipulate anything. It will happen as naturally as your disorder developed, only it will be a 'counter' to it that continues to embrace the lack of 'normal' social interaction. Just like when an artist or reclusive savant develops his or her own eccentric surroundings and is not shamed for doing so because of what is being produced, you will be seen similarly by other people. When it is part of an expressive art form that offers something to society, it will be embraced and will ultimately bring a suitable mate as well. Focusing only on overcoming the 'downsides' is pointless and will lead you nowhere except to more expensive 'help' from well meaning but misguided doctors and social scientists, most of whom are too 'smart' to believe in GOD or natural divine design.
1"The fool has said in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds; There is no one among them doing any real good." (Psalm 14:1).
- Anonymous2 months ago
Incels are losers, and yes, they hate gay men as well. Just try to do your best in interacting socially.