Erik asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 2 months ago

My downstairs neighbour asks me not to wear shoes in my own apt?

I just moved in, and the other day my neighbour from downstair put a note on my door says" Can you please not to walk around in your shoes or on your heels? We can hear you walking around. Also we can hear your tv at all hours."

So I can't walk barefoot on my heels, and i also can't wear shoes..... Am I suppose to glide around?

Anyway I didn't want to be a pain in the butt, so I went out and bought a pair of those soft house slipers, but it makes my feet so sweaty! Then it hits me, why am I being told what to do in MY OWN apartment! I also tried to use headphones at night when i watch tv, which is also very uncomfortable, one time someone walked into my apt i didn't even realize it cuz i had headphones on.

And also, I can't just force my friends to take their shoes off whenever they come to visit me or me having a small gather together party. The other day I hosted a small 4 person dinner, and 2 girls were walking around in their high heels and the entire time I felt like downstair neighbour is gonna come up and take my head off, she also started having an negtive affect on my everyday life. I started to tip toeing around when I don't have the house slippers on.... I freaking tip toe all the way to the bathroom at night when I wake up to pee.

Anyway, I don't think I should be told what to do just because this apt has bad sound insulation.

So, in this case what should I do? Should I force myself to change my habit or is she simply being a pain in the butt?

Update:

Heels as my own feet! Not high heel as shoes. I am a guy!

Update 2:

UPDATE: As I stated in the question, I DO WEAR SOCKS WHEN I WALK AROUND. And a few of you didn't even read the whole question details, I AM A GUY, i don't walk around in my apt in high heels, when I said walking on my heels i mean the heel on my feet!

Update 3:

When i'm at home i try to wear socks and soft slides when i walk around, but sometimes it just makes my feet too sweaty, i don't want to feel like i can't even relax at home.

33 Answers

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Best Answer

    Normal activities at decent hours of the day, you go ahead and do your thing,

    If you are getting up in the middle of the night or at 5am, you may want to wear slip on gyms or slippers or go barefoot. They just need to deal with it. Part of the negatives of apartment living,

    Just tell them no sorry I am not going to change my footwear. I am not doing anything out of the norm. But I will try to be considered of those around me.

  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    When people live with shared walls/ceilings/floors, it's generally a two way street. People should live their life being mindful that sound travels and that they should try not to be excessive. They also need to try and ignore "normal' life sounds, like footsteps from above, unless of course someone is clog dancing.

  • 2 months ago

    Or just step lighter. I have had upstairs neighbors that I swear wore concrete blocks for shoes, they were so loud!

  • 2 months ago

    I would tell my neighbor it's none of their business if I wear shoes in my apartment, that is your right to do so.

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  • 2 months ago

    It is your apartment and not your neighbors. You can do what you want to do as long you are not breaking any rules in the apartment. If your neighbor does not like it it is his/her problem. If it becomes a big problem talk to your landlord about what is going on. Also when you do have friends over it is their decision whether or not they want to take off their shoes.

  • 2 months ago

    Inasmuch as you are renting your own apartment, you must understand that you are also renting the ceiling of your downstairs neighbor's apartment as part of your own.

    I live in a two story house, so I do understand the noise that shoes make and how they can be heard on the ceiling of the first floor.

    Slippers are awful and often rather unsafe to walk in. Why not do something simple, like go and buy yourself a few pair of very cushy socks, you know, the type of socks you cannot even wear with shoes because your foot will not fit into your shoe with those thick socks on. Or, if that is too hot, walk around in your socks.

    That is the neighborly thing to do. When sharing floors, ceilings and walls with other people, you must be considerate. Imagine how annoying it is to constantly hear foot steps above your head every time you are home. It is like listening to a barking dog or someone's horn alarm going off for hours on end.

    This is not about you or about your neighbor, this is about CONSIDERATION. Maybe a few area rugs would help muffle your footsteps, but even still, you should remove your shoes. This is not about your neighbor controlling you, it is about your neighbor's comfort level and right to some peace and quiet.

    I have a shoes off rule in my single family home. Not because of noise, but because 80% of the dirt in your house comes from the soles of everyone's shoes.

    Apartment buildings are built quite cheaply without soundproofing between walls, floors and ceilings. The landlord does not care about any of that because all they want to do is collect your rent money 12 times a year.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Ah, the joys of apartment living. It seems fair enough that she should raise the matter with you, otherwise how would you know? I live below an apartment that has no sound insulation so I could hear the people upstairs turning the pages of their Evening Chronicle, and I knew exactly what they got up to on Sunday afternoons. My solution was to buy their apartment with a view to inserting insulation (still yet to do). BTW if they involve the landlord you may need to check your lease to make sure that it does not require you to have carpet everywhere.

  • Elaine
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Do you have hardwood floors without any kind of carpeting? The bare floors carry the sound of heels clicking but carpeting helps to muffle the sound. When I was living in an apartment and until I could afford to get carpeting I used the cardboard from furniture boxes as mats under some of the furniture. My friends thought that was hilarious. I come from a background where outside shoes are taken off at the door and either socks or soft soled shoes are worn indoors. . My friends also took off their shoes when they came over to visit. You complain that slippers make your feet sweaty. Why not wear soft soled sandals when you are at home?

    • Elaine
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      You may have a heavier tread than you think.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    shes being a pain, talk to your landlord about it

  • 2 months ago

    Who wears heels for a living?

    • Erik2 months agoReport

      Heels as my own feet! Not high heel as shoes. I am a guy!

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