I think I have autism and I have no use I'm worthless.?

I think I have it, autism the worst disorder to ever exist, far worse and disabling than HIV/AIDS, cancer, Ebola etc etc But I'm physically healthy so if I come out to be autistic the only reason to stay alive would be to harvest blood and possibly organ out of me right? that would be my only way to contribute... show more I think I have it, autism the worst disorder to ever exist, far worse and disabling than HIV/AIDS, cancer, Ebola etc etc

But I'm physically healthy so if I come out to be autistic the only reason to stay alive would be to harvest blood and possibly organ out of me right? that would be my only way to contribute to society right?
I shouldn't be identifying as a human anymore, neither as either gender BTW. I should be changed my identity, be castrated and named Type O Negative Blood Factory or Blood Factory O-, put in a humanoid containment chamber, fed daily on a nutritious diet particularly rich in iron supplements and other blood boosting essentials. and harvested blood from whenever needed with/without my consent.
I feel blessed that I have this type of blood, that I can donate and help save someone in need. it makes me feel like I'm worth and that I belong to somewhere. I donated blood twice, once to save my grandma from blood loss and the other time to save the girl I liked( I didn't ask her out yet still) which had gotten into a bike accident. it made me so happy I could help her!
so how about I get euthanized and donate my non retarded organs to a neurotypical person who's worth living more than me. I'm just a trash being that's it.
wouldn't it be better for me to be dead than suffer loneliness, have someone make better use of those organs.
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