Why is it wrong for a child to fight back when another child attacks them first?

I've heard people say that it's wrong for a child to attack another child even if the other kid hit them first but I think that kids who fight back against a kid who hits or bites them are just defending themselves. For example there was this one incident where I unintentionally kicked sand at a boy at the... show more I've heard people say that it's wrong for a child to attack another child even if the other kid hit them first but I think that kids who fight back against a kid who hits or bites them are just defending themselves. For example there was this one incident where I unintentionally kicked sand at a boy at the park( I didn't know there were other children in the area where I kicked the sand because I was looking at the ground when I did it) because I was upset with my friends for excluding me from a game ( my friends did this in a way that hurt my feelings) and the boy retaliated by kicking sand back at me. Well I don't know about everyone else but I don't think this other kid was wrong at all because even though I didn't mean to kick sand at him, him kicking sand back at me was justified because I'd be mad too if someone kicked sand at me. So why is it wrong for a children to fight back if another child attacks them first? I was also using my experience as an example, I'm not dwelling on the past or anything.
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