My dad refuses to accept my lesbian girlfriend and he doesn't respect my relationship. How can I get him to be more respectful?

Okay so my mom doesn't like the fact that I like other girls but she supports my choice but the problem is my dad. Ever since I told him, he has been distant towards me and disrespectful. He doesn't accept my lesbian girlfriend. He was like, "I am disappointed because my baby girl came out as gay. It's suppose to be a man and a woman! (Too my girlfriend) You better stay the hell away from me! I don't wanna see you and my daughter kissing. Back off of me!" I called out my dad for being rude. He said, "Well that's how I feel and I will tell it straight up in her face. Sorry not sorry." He doesn't respect her or my choice. My dad has no right to be rude. My dad bluntly said If we get engaged, he will not go to our wedding. We've only been dating for two weeks. My dad is kindhearted but he can be a jerk sometimes. Has this happened to you?

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  • 4 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You aren't going to be able to MAKE him more respectful.  Only HE can do that.  You can spend more time with your girlfriend and less time with him, to give him a chance to think it over on his own.  It will also give you mom a chance to work on him.

    At the end of the day, he has gotten to make his choices and pursue his interests in HIS life, and you should not feel bad at all about insisting on making YOUR choices and pursuing YOUR interests.  (What ELSE are you going to do - live your life for HIM?  You can bet he didn't live HIS life to please HIS parents.)  You have the same right, and you need to exercise that right for the same reasons he did.

    Don't blow a fuse over this.  It's possible your relationship with your girlfriend will come and go, and there might be others later - but your deal with Dad is a long term thing that may take years to play out.  Give it time.

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  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    You got to remember that they grew up in a totally different era. They were not raised to see 2 gals or 2 guys being close. Please have your folks contact PFLAG.org- a wonderful support group made up of mostly parents of LGBT kids who reach out to other parents. You obviously need their help.

    You don't mention your age. If you are a young teen your folks will doubt your feelings. I hope you are at least high school. Have patience and get in touch with PFLAG. HUGS from a senior lesbian

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  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    You've only been dating 2 weeks. I don't actually believe he wouldn't come to your wedding. Give it time. Let him get to know her as a person.

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  • 4 months ago

    Just give up this silly idea, and find a nice boyfriend instead.

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  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Time to think long term. You are going to have to educate him over the long haul. It might take a few years. Always be ready to educate. Always have literature, books and sites on hand. Join pflag. Try and get him to come to some meetings. Also join your local gay community center and any lgbt charities and rec leagues that interest you. Maybe try a pro lgbt church too - take a course or read a book on interpretation of the bible in a pro lgbt way. He’s got to learn that lgbt have jobs families and pay taxes like everyone else. Basically he’s throwing a tantrum now. You’ve got to be the adult now and not cave in. If you are under his roof though - don’t have her come around until he calms down. And consider moving out sooner than later. Read some books with coming out stories. They’ll help you.

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  • 4 months ago

    You can't make him if he doesn't like it that's his choice.

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