I have a fast food question: I am tired of vertically-excessive burgers; where can I get the wide burgers?

Fast Food establishments seem locked in conflict to make the tallest burger, and it's getting silly. I want a wide, easy to eat burger. McDonald's quarter-pounder-patty is between 3.8 and 4 inches in diameter (just the patty mind you; don't get me started on the bun...). For a double quarter-pounder,... show more Fast Food establishments seem locked in conflict to make the tallest burger, and it's getting silly. I want a wide, easy to eat burger.

McDonald's quarter-pounder-patty is between 3.8 and 4 inches in diameter (just the patty mind you; don't get me started on the bun...). For a double quarter-pounder, they just stack two, one atop the other. I'd rather have an eight inch wide half-pounder than a double quarter-pounder. Give me an original, not twice of something else.

Let us look at condiment distribution. Looking at the haphazard manner in which McDonald's assembles their double quater-pounded monstrosity, and examining the ratio of burger patty to cheese to condiment to bun ( do not get me started on the bun), there is no conclusion but to say that the double quarter-pounder is a different burger than the quarter-pounder. Yes, the ingredients are the same, but the ratios are so skewed that it's a different burger experience. Truly ironic that the only constant is that wretched bun.

I'm right.

So, having expressed my desire for a wide burger, and now adding that I require this wide burger on the go, where does one find such a mouthful?

Post script: I ask this question in earnestness; I request you respond in kind. Also, my last question, about Luby's cafeteria a fair while ago, didn't go well for me so I'm posting this anonymously. I understand there are some Luby's Lover out there still, and my heart goes out to you. Thank you friends. Bless.
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