Feeling guilty about not being with my mom when she died?

My mom passed away at age 70 from uterine cancer in July. My boss was very understanding and gave me several weeks off of work to be with my mom while she was in the hospital and then finally in hospice. I was home with mom for 13 days before she passed away. At first, she was pretty responsive and we had a lot... show more My mom passed away at age 70 from uterine cancer in July. My boss was very understanding and gave me several weeks off of work to be with my mom while she was in the hospital and then finally in hospice.

I was home with mom for 13 days before she passed away. At first, she was pretty responsive and we had a lot of good chats. Then as time went on, she became less responsive. Her last few days she was unresponsive with a blank gaze.

On her last day, she became ill and vomited. I went and got the nurse. The nurses took about 10 minutes to clean her up and change her gown. I was out in the waiting room with my brother and cousin. I saw my dad pulling in to the hospital parking lot. I waited for my dad to get in. We all walked in to see my mom and she had passed between the time the nurses finished cleaning her up and the five minutes that I waited for my dad.

I've heard it before that sometimes people wait to be by themselves before they pass on. But i feel so guilty that i wasn't there. I was gone for five minutes the past 13 days. In that amount of time she died alone in the hospice room.

Has this ever happened to anyone? Two months later I'm still feeling so guilty and sad that I wasn't with mom when she passed on.

Thanks for your thoughts.
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