In a relationship but might not be as gay as I thought?

I'm a woman dating another woman. We've almost been dating for a year. Before we started dating, I was constantly in a "Gay/Not Gay" phase. We were friends prior to dating. She kind of surprised me when she asked me out. I liked her as a person and found her attractive both personally and physically so I figured why not?

Not a good idea and I realized I made a mistake. Although I enjoy being with her, I'm not a gay as I thought and am definitely more bisexual. While I don't regret the time we spent together, I'm feeling guilty because she is starting to plan the rest of our lives together.

She told me she would like to be married, move in together and raise a family. I do not see that happening and it's not what I want. Our personalities and habits are starting to clash. Sometimes I get stressed out being around her for extended lengths of time. Feeling like that, I don't think marriage would be a wise decision. I also don't really want kids. She's older than me and in her mid 30s. She's even said she's running out of time and wants to have a kid. I'm not the right person for her in that aspect.

What should I do? I don't want to hurt her but I also don't see us together forever. I'm also feeling guilty that I got involved with a same-sex relationship. Yes, I've come to the realization that I'm bisexual. But I've put both of us in a bad position and am going to end up hurting a friend who's a great person.

Thanks for your help and advice.

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You obviously have to break up with her. Do it gently. There's no good way, bite the bullet.

    Aaaaand this is why lesbians are so very territorial over the word lesbian and don't want to date bisexuals. They're trying to spare themselves the pain and I can't blame them.

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  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    Talk to her now. Be honest. Don't drag this relationship on and on if you really don't see it going any where. You are not giving her all of yourself so it is best to end it. Be gentle. Let her go have time to meet some one who is more suitable. My best to you both

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  • Dan
    Lv 5
    10 months ago

    Pretty damn obvious! Show her this question you wrote to everyone else in the world and kiss the relationship goodbye, it's best for everyone.

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