Is it normal for someone who has gone through childhood trauma to cling onto their childhood?

I'm 17, almost 18, and my whole childhood was filled with so much trauma so I never really got to experience a normal fun and happy childhood and I've come to realize that I still seem to be clinging onto the childhood that I never got to experience. I tried googling it to learn more about this but I... show more I'm 17, almost 18, and my whole childhood was filled with so much trauma so I never really got to experience a normal fun and happy childhood and I've come to realize that I still seem to be clinging onto the childhood that I never got to experience. I tried googling it to learn more about this but I didn't really know what to type into the search bar so I just need to know is this normal?
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