Well, Dani, I agree with one thing you've written, "There's honestly no one in my life that can help me." The truth and the solution is you must help yourself. I hate the phrase, "I know how you feel." No one can know how you feel. The best they can do is bring their similar experiences to bear and approximate what you're feeling, just as I am now. The best advice I can give you is to forget yourself. That may seem impossible when you're seemingly in Hell, but it isn't if you have the inner strength to try. Let me give you an example from my life. I probably felt as you do once when my world fell apart. I wanted to die and felt that no one could possibly understand what I was going through. What I did to try to forget myself was go to India and work with the dying in the slums of Calcutta. When I experienced what real pain and despair are and how petty all my problems seemed in comparison, I was ashamed to raise my head. I forgot about all my self pity and just concentrated in trying to alleviate the suffering of those poor souls who really had nothing and no one to help or care. It worked. After a year, when I couldn't stand it anymore, I came home. When I felt sorry for myself, I thought of all those I had helped die with the knowledge that someone cared; that they were not alone. It has made an enormous difference in my life. I still realize that there's been far more sorrow than joy in my life, but I am so grateful for the transitory happiness that I remember, that I cannot remain in that self imposed Hell I make for myself. So, Dani, if you have the courage and the will, forget yourself and try to help other souls who, like you, find life impossible to live. Believe it or not it not just helps, it's a cure.