Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 11 months ago

Is my fear of having children who will take in my genes valid?

First, I want to say I'm married to the most beautiful woman in the world - atleast in my point of view. She's gorgeous and her character is even better. She's a chinese 5'5 girl with silky black hair, hazel eyes, dimples, a cute button nose, a heart-shaped face, and a petite and slim body. She has no health-related issues in her family at all; her genes are simply perfect.

I'm the opposite. I'm a Pakistani male who was born in a family of heart disease, baldness, and obesity. Due to extreme luck (quote my doctor), I never had any of these yet, but they're inevitable. Frankly, I was extremely skinny in high school & college until I hit the gym for once. In addition, I was born with an ugly hooked nose and a weak jaw I had to correct with rhinoplasty, braces and palatal expanders. I'm also 5'8. The insults I had in highschool and college were insane and I could never believe that she actually talked to me despite these.

As you can see, my genes are nowhere near hers. While I do look fine now after surgery and going to the gym, I still have poor genetics inside of me and I may develop heart disease in the future. This is why I'm afraid of having children. I know my wife truly wants kids and I feel guilty inside of me to refuse but I just don't know what will happen. Interracial children will already make them look odd, combined with my deformities and my bad family history they may be cursed. I'm sorry if I sound stupid. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this?

3 Answers

  • 11 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Everyone has inheritable diseases in their family line. How you live your life and take care of yourself has as much to do with whether or not a medical condition happens to you as genetics.

    My mom's parents both had heart attacks in their 70s, and her dad had diabetes and struggled with his weight. She is currently 80 years old and in excellent health, does not have diabetes, and is an appropriate weight for her height. Why? Her parents never (and I mean never) exercised. She on the other hand has made exercise a lifelong habit - walking and bike riding miles per day because she enjoys it.

    If you raise your child with a generally healthy lifestyle, there is no reason to think he or she will have any particular problems related to inherited tendency to one illness or another.

  • Anonymous
    11 months ago

    Sure it's valid but it's also nothing you have any control over. Unless you want to use someone else's sperm when the two of you decide to have kids.

  • 11 months ago

    put aside your feelings and consider her feelings and have long discussion … good luck.

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