2 children at home, bf and I are at each other’s necks?

I have 14 month old and newborn. He works so I can stay home. 14 month old is not i. daycare nor ever was so he has his moments and newborn is colicky. He doesn’t even want to hold her when she’s like this. He barely hangs out with her. He takes shower at night but takes it for an hr and while she’s crying I can’t get their bottles washed. Last “ night feeding” before bed he will do (only feeding he does, he’s home for 2 them) After feeding her, he won’t put her in our room because he needs his sleep. This makes harder on me because we have cats and I do so many bottles and have to check on her so it makes my time longer.

He complains house is not up to par, it’s not dirty just toys in designated areas which i won’t put away until end night because my son will destroy it again. Mind you he praises me for having patience dealing with cry of newborn and cooking and everything else. Yet he has moments and shyts on me.

I don’t know how to talk to him cu he thinks it’s not hard, he contradicts himself but when i go out once to grab coffee or food shopping he tells me not to take too long. Mind you he’s out of the house 10 hrs day and doesn’t contribute to when he gets home

14 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    So what's the question? This is Yahoo answers not Yahoo rant.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    "At eachothers neck", welcome to family life!

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You have made a deal for him to work so you can stay home so keep faith with that deal. He does not make you come to his work and do SOME of his work. Do NOT ask for him to do ANY of your work at home. Keep house like a widow would have to do. If your man were gone to death or war, you would have to do it alone. So do it alone. Bottles do not have to be washed only while he is showering and he needs that hour in the shower. Working is exhausting. Some babies must cry to be healthy, in order to develop their lungs. Do not try to CAUSE them to cry extra but, if they have to cry some while you wash the bottles, then lay them down gently in their crib and let them cry where they are as safe as possible while you wash the bottles. Try crushing a little fresh mint very crushed and fine for the colic. Crushed small and soft so the baby won't choke on it. Do your best to comfort your babies but sometimes you have to lay them in their crib and pen while you do some necessary work around the house. Just stay calm and relaxed and deal with things as well as you can but never bring up breaking the deal with your man who is doing his part. Supporting the family means the rest should be taken care of by you. An older woman has learned so many shortcuts and it is a shame that there's no-one to teach you hers. Like simple but tasty meals that can be gotten ready and heated up easily before he comes in. Like boiling the lasagna noodles separately (coating cooked pasta with vegetable oil is what keeps it from hardening and you can heat it up later easily) and cooking the hamburger separately and pouring off the grease and then combining them into Lasagna by layering them into a baking dish and putting cheese on the top so that, when you bake it to heat it up, the cheese melts on the top, but you never have to worry about the pasta and hamburger being cooked because they are ALREADY cooked and hot again by the time the cheese melts. Get off your Boyfriend's neck and have the house nice when he comes home to a meal that is ready when he gets in or gets out of the shower and is ready to eat. Let him relax and it will help you relax also. Women are most brilliant when they hold everything together and give the illusion that it is like magically effortless. Not TOO effortless, but still amazing because you do not nag or complain. You can do a lot of prep for meals in pieces during the day and put things together to cook before he comes home. Drain the canned salmon well so it won't be nasty and fishy or briny, and chill it. Wash and chop the celery or drain the relish so it won't be watery. And cover that it a separate bowl from the drained salmon. When you mix it with mayonnaise gradually to taste, it blends better because the salmon and relish were already both drained and cold and you have a nice salmon salad that is not "soupy" or wet. If you are super careful never to leave anything boiling on the stove top and never spill it on your babies, you can boil cheap cuts of pork like Boston Butt Roast for several hours during the day so long as you keep adding water. Set your actual alarm clock as well as the stove top timer for that because it is deadly to fall asleep and let the water boil off and burn it, or to leave and start a house fire. NEVER leave a house without checking that the stove and oven are OFF before you go. If you keep adding water, the pork will never burn and will eventually get much softer than a cheap cut usually is, and leave you a rich delicious stock or simple soup. Let it cool down before you try to dish it out. Too many stupid cooks burn themselves or their children trying to handle big pots of hot stuff. Remember: you can always microwave a portion or a serving at the last minute, so let things cool down before you try to remove them from the stove. By chilling the stock in the refrigerator, the fat will solidify at the top and can be removed later with a spoon. Any pasta you cook, including spaghetti, can be drained and coated with vegetable oil to prevent hardening and then all you have to do is to spoon the sauce over the noodles and microwave it. You can keep cooked drained pasta refrigerated like that for two days. The oil will keep it soft and fresh.

    • Pippin
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      Holding or caring for HIS children when HE is home is NOT doing 'her work.' Being a father isn't just bringing home a paycheck. And she isn't asking for cooking lessons.

  • 2 months ago

    Hhhhggbdfbjkbnkkhhjknk

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  • 2 months ago

    I would guess this is his basic personality type which was evident when you had the first baby, and now is even more clear now that you have two small children.

    You can either accept it, or set out on your own - move in with family, etc., because he is unlikely to change.

  • Byrd
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Well you are the moron that was dumb enough to have two children with him.

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Yeah, well, having a baby is hard, and getting pregnant again just a few months after giving birth and then having two babies is even harder. But you chose to do it. Now stop having kids, wait until yours are old enough for daycare or preschool, and get your a** back to work so that you can stop being financially reliant on a man.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    It's a little too late to complain, honey. You are the one who agreed to lay down and create these kids. You handpicked the father all by yourself. Why you would do this twice with him is beyond me but stop playing the blame game. You are stuck with this fool until the kids are 18yrs old. They have every right to see their dad and you need to respect that right for their sake no matter how you feel.

    Move out with the kids, get a DNA test ordered, file for child support and agree to custody visit. Then once the kids are 18 they can handle him on their own. Good luck.

    FYI this is why many people still say WAIT FOR MARRIAGE. We are often called old fashioned but we don't have this problem.

    • John
      Lv 4
      2 months agoReport

      Life is a hard task master.

  • paul
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    welcome to life , welcome to motherhood

  • John
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    A scenario similar to my Daughter's. She kicked the bum out yesterday but the two children stayed.

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