How can I improve this brief synopsis for my novel?

I've never been particularly good at writing synopses, and I've been struggling a lot with my description for my Wattpad. I feel like I'm trying to cram too much into a few sentences, but I don't want to leave out important details that might help a potential reader make a decision to read my work. Thank you for any feedback or advice!

"Leaf is an elvish barterman with a passion for frugality and simplicity, and a deep disdain for people. When his only trusted friend Rothus, an Elder of the Ailillian Temple, sends him across the empire for a job, he reluctantly accepts with the promise of a large payout. What Rothus fails to mention, is that the job requires Leaf to transport a young halfbreed girl, rumored to be the reincarnation of an ancient evil, with a massive and uncontrolled magic ability back to Ailill - with the imperial military's Office of Occult Inquiry in close pursuit."

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  • Speed
    Lv 7
    5 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Okay, I agree that synopses are really hard, but you haven't written a synopsis at all.

    A synopsis tells the plot, beginning to end. It tells who your main character is, what they need, what stands in the way of them getting it, what they do about it, who helps them, what setbacks they have, and how it turns out. Your thing doesn't do that.

    Are you perhaps trying to write a blurb, the short paragraph that might go on the back cover of a book? This is too long. Cut the word count by at least a third.

    Yes, it's hard. (Don't I know it!) But if you need a blurb to tease potential readers, it has to be a lot shorter--and contain no mistakes in grammar and punctuation, which your sample does. But for now, since you need to start over, let's not worry about that but about content. Give us only what we need to know about his goal and what keeps him from achieving it.

  • 4 weeks ago
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  • 4 weeks ago

    To sell a novel, one needs to know how to write a synopsis, even if you are a pantser-type novelist who can write a whole novel without outlining first. Agents and publishers will often ask for a synopsis along with sample chapters before they request a complete manuscript. The book synopsis is three or four-page snapshots of the book, that essentially tell your story from beginning to end. The ultimate aim of writing a synopsis is to create a desire in the reader's minds to still wanting to read the actual manuscript. While writing a synopsis, the reader should able to know about your protagonist, the protagonist's conflict, and the setting within the first 100-200 words. Then you have to decide on which major plot turns/conflicts must be conveyed to make a sense and also on which characters must be mentioned. It is better not to mention all of the characters. The ending paragraph must show how major conflicts are resolved—yes, you have the right to expose ending. 

    What makes a novel mesmerizing? It's the emotions that accompany those actions. The anticipation, fear, hope, excitement, and disappointment at each turn of events. The elation of victory at the end, or the agony of defeat. It is these emotional twists and elevation that makes the novel appealing and mesmerizing. Whilewriting a synopsis for a novel, you also need to incorporate the emotional twists and turns of your characters – especially your main character – at the same time as you describe your sequence of plot events, to make the synopsis appealing and interesting rather than making it pretty boring.The General Steps To Follow While Writing A Synopsis For Novel:. Put a Title. State the genre in which you are writing, whether you are writing in romance, science fiction, fantasy, crime thriller, psychological genre. If you are writing for children, you must specify which age group you are writing.. Mention the Pitch Line on the top of the synopsis. Pitch line is the high concept or heart of the novel that can hook the readers.. Quote from the novel- Quote can give a glimpse of the tone of your novel to your readers. It can be a good option if you fail to come with a Pitch line.. The synopsis of your novel should cover the plot of your novel. Don't try to include everything, like every intricating twists, twists, and subplots. Just mention the major points of the novel.. Mention the character names of your novel. If you have a clear protagonist for your novel, describe your protagonist and his motivations. While mentioning the characters does not include the complete cast list, it may confuse the readers.. States the setting, period, time and place in which the story takes place.. If you can bring the tone and atmosphere of the novel to your novel. It can bring life to the synopsis and bring up the engagement of the reader.. The synopsis is not the place to praise about your novel or saying that it is going to be an international bestseller. Lets others make the judgment and the predictions about the top 100 books and international bestseller..Try to covey the story about the novel to readers rather than conveying the theme.  . Don't try to mention the themes and ideas in the hope that it will bring more meaningfulness to the synopsis.. Don’t include chapter breakdowns or mini-summaries of the content of individual bits of your book.. Don't make your fonts spacing or margins tiny to wedge in more words than fit onto a page. The aim is to be succinct.

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  • NONAME
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    wow...you really are bad..no joking..You dont want to leave out details that migh help them make the decision to read...yes you got that...but you also do want to repel them..."Frugality"...im lost im done...that was literally my first thought!..passion for frugality...wtf does that mean.. make it apassion for the simple life...keep it simple!..we dont need names because they mean nothing to us. AILILLILILIAm temple, ROTHUS...names that just confuse me because i have no context for them yet.....then it changes from big words and complexity and just goes with massive and uncontrolled magic...which by itself sounds like a 3rd grader wrote it, but outside of itself makes no sense...why would Joe dirt be charged with leading Wonder woman across the land...A young half breed with an ancient secret...thats it stop....If its a secret then I wont have to question why a simpleton has the most complex job ever..it does not put me off so much..

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  • "frugality and simplicity, and a deep disdain for people." should be "frugality, simplicity, and a deep disdain for people. "

    Stylistically, I'd stop trying to make this an information dump. We don't need this info "his only trusted friend Rothus, an Elder of the Ailillian Temple," We just need to know he is sent on a trip. All that jargon in a synopsis will turn off some readers. Something like "For a promise of riches, he accepts a job which will take him across the empire..."

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    • Lv 4
      5 months agoReport

      .. place names & people/ character names/ data that no one is familiar with, rather than introducing Readers to the Drama & Mystery of the Tale: needs to be catchier rather than aloofly documentary; & maybe: far side of The Empire, a mysterious waif, Imperial Office, great magic and unknown powers..

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