does my anger problems excuse my boyfriend to cheat on me?
so I am a stay at home mom, and I take care of everything ( he works). I always had anger issues and I did get on zoloft before and that helped, but since I was on it for so long, it made me feel jumpy and not " right". I agree I am not innocent either and I am going to get help..I have anxiety and depression. He has anger problems and emotionally abusive to me. I feel horrible about it, but I have cursed at my daughter and yelled few times...I know , I know, I am a piece of sh it. I dont mean it, when i say those things, and it has been a wake up call , and i am calming down...I understand that most guys would probably leave me...well , he has talking to his ex, and i found out , and today I found out he met up with her sunday. They have been texting and phone calls...does he have the right to cheat on me? Did I deserve that? Please be civil if you can..
- Dr. StephanieLv 710 months agoFavorite Answer
No, of course not. One wrong doesn't mean its okay to create another one. Your problems sound quite serious, however, especially when it comes to abusing your daughter. Thank you for seeking professional help, I hope it improves things for both you and her. Medications can be adjusted, changed, and in combination with appropriate therapy, you can really be helped to get better and stay better. As for your cheating partner? You could try couples' therapy , for the sake of both you and your daughter, but: his character is in question and I wonder if this is the right role model for her. Good wishes,
- RobertLv 710 months ago
It appears he is unhappy at home and shopping for something new. You apparently contribute to his unhappiness with your issues. You say he is emotionally abusive to you. Maybe today is a good day for both of you to start changes. You can't have a relationship if you are unhappy with yourself. You have to fix you before you are going to be happy with him. He has to be happy with him before he can live happily with you. At present from your description, no one is happy. Time for a break.
- GypsyfishLv 710 months ago
Big mistake to have children with someone not willing to commit to you in marriage. Now you have no protection if he decides to leave you. I don't know why women blame themselves when a man is verbally or physically abusive to them, but they do. It's likely that you chose him because you don't think you deserve any better or that you can get anyone better. There's a common underlying cause of your depression and anger and your bad choices in life. Both of you need counseling, and if you both want to save your relationship, you need couples counseling. Otherwise, get out and deal with your problems so that your daughter doesn't grow up the same way.
- Ross JamesLv 710 months ago
Can't say that he was right to cheat on you. But I CAN say that you two need to be apart and the kid needs to be with a relative or in foster care. This relationship is poison and there is no help that's going to change things. Think about what is best for the child.
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- BrianLv 710 months ago
Nothing excuses cheating period... anger issues or not. Good for you that you plan to do more to help manage your issues but he also needs to as well. If he doesn't then time to dump the chump and eliminate what actually enables the issues you're trying to get rid of for you and your daughter.