Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 12 months ago

What should I do: I'm a nearly 32 yo woman and I'm a virgin?

I think I'm a virgin because when I was in middle school boys told me I was ugly and fat for years.

I have a rigid way of thinking so when I was 12 I decided that I didn't want to like anyone and I basically stopped talking with boys an I hated them until I was 20. In my teens I lost some weight.

In my 20s I never liked anyone, I think because I grow up that way and I was used to not liking anyone and being single.

When I was 30 yo I tried to have sex with someone I didn't like because people told me I was strange and I couldn't like anyone. I couldn't have sex because I was in pain and he was angry with me because I didn't have enough experience. So I told him I didn't want to see him again.

I was told I was wrong because I tried to have sex with someone I didn't like but I can't like anyone.

A lot of people told me I'm strange and I feel embarassed.

Now my friend is trying to convince me to use Tinder because he thinks I should experience sex but I'm sure I'll never like anyone and the only thing I can do is pretending to like someone. I'm also sure I'll be criticized for being a virgin and not having enough experience again and I'm afraid.

What should I do?

English isn't my first language.


I'm not religious

92 Answers

  • 11 months ago

    Go out there and get some c&@k

  • Anonymous
    11 months ago

    By today’s standards I guess it is unusual but people today have no standards that’s why the world is a mess so don’t view your virginity as a bad thing. We are not meant to sleep with every and any body! Sex was meant for marriage and not for your first boyfriend you’ve been dating a week and “so in love” with when you are 16. Even if you don’t think you need to wait until marriage, it does make sense to wait until you are in a committed relationship with someone you love and if you haven’t found that yet then you have had no reason to have sex. I would rather a virgin then someone who had a lot of sexual partners.

    The guy you tried to have sex with is a jerk and not all guys are like that. Be thankful that you didn’t lose your virginity to him. Don’t have sex with some disease ridden creep off Tinder. If your only problem with being a virgin is everybody else’s opinion then that’s not a reason to have sex. You probably won’t enjoy it if you don’t like the person anyway.

    Good luck

  • Anonymous
    11 months ago

    Look for someone special and get married. Dont rush but make it a prority. Dont waste time with people that dont respect it.. And look for people in healthy places.

  • 12 months ago

    U can do it whenever u want ... its not a bout ure being ugly or fat there's too many fat or ugly ppl that they're not virgins

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  • 12 months ago

    Be proud of it. You are reserved for that special someone

  • Anonymous
    12 months ago

    You should not feel ashamed for being a virgin. I feel horrible for you, it breaks my heart that you even feel that way. There's nothing embarrassing about it, i'm a virgin even myself at 17 and i don't feel shamed by it at all i haven't even had a first kiss! I relate with you so much and i want you to know that you must love yourself before you can love anyone else. Be confident and all these people or "friends" that you are talking to that say you're weird, ect. CUT them off!! You are not ready for sex and that's clear. You need to be with someone who you're going to love and trust. It's very intimate so do not give away your virginity to some asshole or desperate loser that doesn't deserve you. I don't understand online websites that promote dating and hookups like Tinder. I rather meet someone in real life and be close friends with then possibly turn it into a relationship rather than just meeting some random off the internet.

  • 12 months ago

    Get some therapy first so that you feel better about yourself and can finally learn to offer and accept love from someone else.

  • 12 months ago

    talk to a physician and don't afraid, Find someone to love

  • 12 months ago

    I think everybody has it in them to be attracted to some people. You need to start loving yourself and realize that other people are capable of loving you and finding you attractive. It seems like you are defensive about allowing people to be intimate with you because you think it's in some way hurting you or that you're disgusting for the way people have made you feel. Or that you associate everybody with those people who have abused you and not allowing anybody else into your life or allowing yourself to fall for anyone. Everybody has been abused by people before but you need to try seeing people as individuals more and love yourself. I would also say you should wait for someone you have a connection with and genuinely care about and attracted to. Sex can be a beautiful thing.

  • 12 months ago

    You should do two things:

    1. Speak with a therapist or counselor who can help with your feelings of dislike of others and of yourself.

    2. Stop posting anonymously, as it makes you look like a troll.

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