Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 6 months ago

Husband doesn’t want to talk to family?

My husband had a fallout with his family. My mom in law (his mom) passed away 2017 to cancer. My dad in law got remarried 2 months later to his mistress. My husband got upset and fought with his dad and cut his dad out of his life. I know my husband loves his mom but she’s gone now.. why can’t he just be happy and accept it as it is now? It’s been 2 almost 3 years that he’s been ignoring his dad’s call. No matter how much I try getting him to forgive and make peace to his dad/family. He wouldn’t do it.

So his aunt (his dad’s sister) called and wanted to talk to my husband.. my husband wouldn’t talk so I had to talk to her. She thinks I’m the one manipulating him to be this way.. now I’m in the middle of all this chaos. I’m having a whole group of army against me now and I’m scared. I’m so depress and stress out. What to do?

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Just let him go through what he needs to go through. Chances are that when Dad has a medical crisis it'll shock him into contemplating some forgiveness. Your husband probably could benefit from some counseling. But it's not entirely unreasonable to be upset about what his father did.

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  • Ann
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Your husband is suffering from grief and depression over his family situation. You should suggest that the two of you go to family counseling. It will help both of you. In the meantime, don't be talking to his family members. If they're shallow enough to think you're responsible for what's going on, then they're a sorry lot.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    there is no reason to have communication with people just because they are family

    ask your self is your marriage less important than his choosing to spend his time more productive than speak to people he has no real connection to?

    you are going to destroy your marriage over this?

    (note the details are not important his choice is)

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  • 6 months ago

    Like many have said here, it is vital you stay out of this one. My girlfriend has SERIOUS issues with her dysfunctional family. She is nothing like them, which is the root of the problem. She speaks to her mother via text, but she never speaks to her stepfather or her grandmother. I always tell her I support her choice to talk to her mom and anyone else in her family. However, she makes all the choices regarding her family. That's how it should be. If you get too involved, you run the risk of causing issues between yourself and your husband.

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  • 6 months ago

    Stop talking to his family or trying to get him to do something he does not want to do.

    In other words, butt out of this. It is HIS choice to do as he pleases.

    Leave it alone and mind your own business. If YOU want a relationship with any of his relatives, then do so without talking about him or involving him or giving your opinion about what is happening or discussing any of your husband's personal business with them at all. If you cannot do that, then do not even bother.

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  • 6 months ago

    It's HIS family issue and not yours. Stay out of it.

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  • 6 months ago

    Why are you in the middle? It's your husband's deal not yours. He is who he is, he feels the way he does.

    You owe no one a conversation or explanation. So if someone calls to talk about it, and your husband doesn't want to talk about it.... just let them know he will call them if he wants to.

    Not sure why you think this is YOUR issue. It's not and never will be.

    You're not a very rational thinker.

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  • KTJoe
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Act as peacemaker between husband and family by supporting husband's decisions regarding family allow him to handle family mess on his terms next end all conversations with his family until things are resolved.

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  • 6 months ago

    key word.... mistress........ so there is a LOT more to the story than is posted here..... have seen this happen more than once..... based only on what you report..... have to side with your husband..... his Father betrayed not only his wife... He betrayed his family.... he deserves no respect............... as for the rest of the "family"... that is your husbands responsibility...... if he can not, or will not, deal with it... it he can not act to deflect the unfair attacks against you...... you need to decide what you are able to live with for the rest of your life..... if he will not defend you........ what does this say for the future........

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    your inlaws should know you well enough if you are the type to pull him away from his family. if you're not this type and they still suspect you then you're better off letting them think what they want and just stay out of their problem. continue maintaining your personal relationship with the family members your are close with but dont stress yourself out over it.

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