How to co parent with abusive ex?

I'm a first time mom with a 1 month old. My ex boyfriend is verbally and emotionally abusive towards me, only a few times was it physical but I admit I did hit him back and he claims it as mutual abuse when I was only defending myself against him. He sends so many hateful texts to me everyday and accuses me of... show more I'm a first time mom with a 1 month old. My ex boyfriend is verbally and emotionally abusive towards me, only a few times was it physical but I admit I did hit him back and he claims it as mutual abuse when I was only defending myself against him. He sends so many hateful texts to me everyday and accuses me of cheating on him when I never did. I'm not sure how to raise our son together when all he wants to do is treat me like crap. He is nice to our baby and helps out with diapers and formula and taking care of him but I did hear him call him a bastard and an a hole one night because the baby was hungry and woke him up, I told him don't say that to our son and he apologized for it. I don't know what to do and I don't have any family to talk to. I was already not speaking to anyone before I met my ex so he didn't do anything to make me push them away and I'm not going to get back in touch with any of them either. All he does is drink, smoke weed, accuse me of cheating, fight with people and call me names. He tried fighting with my neighbors because he assumed every guy in my building I'm sleeping with, and I got a noise complaint because of his screaming, I also can't order from a pizza place thanks to him threatening the driver because he thinks I was sleeping with the guy. I had to tell him to leave my home because of the drama. I don't want to be that mother who doesn't let my baby see his father but I also don't want to be dealing with any of this either. I feel stressed.
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