13 year old son messes up sleeping schedule, not productive, what would you do?
He wouldn't go to sleep until after 12, 1 or 2am or even 3 or 4am occasionally. He would sleep pass noon on the weekend, but he is difficult to get up for school on weekday. He would come home straight after school and complain being tired and falls asleep in the afternoon. No doubt his homework is impacted. I've tried taking his electronics away at night, but he always is able to sneak something with him. For example, taking his electronics away a night before seemed non-eventful, but he didn't want to get up for Karate at 11am tells me he didn't go to sleep likely until pass 2am. Last night, after he brought me all the electronics, I happened to knock at his door and push it open soon afterward, he is having an old broken computer with him. He said he attempts to fix it. I said not at 12, not even on a weekend. He was mad, gave that to me, but I noticed he stayed up pass 2AM, the last time I still heard noice from his room. I feel I'm running out of idea. Talking to him how important it's to sleep well will face his "ignored" attitude. I need ideas! Thank you.
- Anonymous12 months ago
Jessica, it's way past time for you to grow a SPINE and put your foot down, and give your son some TOUGH LOVE, which he badly NEEDS right now. Start by getting rid of all the electronics. And that means EVERYTHING, except perhaps for the computer he needs for school, and even that must be kept in a public place, such as the kitchen or family room. Get rid of your TV, DVD player, your Wii set if you have one, and every other electronic device you own or that your son has access to. If he's got a cellphone ( which he shouldn't have, not at his age) get rid of THAT, too. Keep your OWN cellphone in a LOCKED, inaccessible place when you're at home with him.
Once the electronics are gone, you need to have a discussion with your son in which you make it clear what the house rules are. At your son's age, he should be getting at LEAST 10 hours of sleep EVERY NIGHT, in order to remain healthy. This is what research has shown that teenagers this age need. That means you need to set a BEDTIME of no later than 10PM on school nights, and 11PM on the weekends. And bedtime means just THAT, he goes TO BED, without watching TV, listening to music, or doing anything else that is stimulating. If he needs to hear something in order to fall asleep, buy a fan or a white noise generator, and put that in his room, which incidentally needs to be very DARK. The idea is to get him to fall asleep from boredom, if for no other reason And he will do that, if the circumstances are right. But under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should he be permitted to have access to electronics of ANY KIND, period. The only exception is the tablet/computer he needs for school. And in that case, it is YOUR JOB as a PARENT to watch and supervise him while he's doing schoolwork. You need to make an additional house rule that all homework must be completed by no later than 9:30PM each school night. That will give your son half an hour to prepare for and get in bed. Lights out will be at 10PM.
You should be prepared for rebellion and blowback from this, but it's important that you stick to your guns on it. Your son is going to be mighty pissed off, especially at first, but eventually, he will settle down once he finally gets the message that you're serious about him adopting healthy sleep and work habits. And you can help him find ways to EARN the right to have access to things like TV and music again. You can even use that in place of an allowance, in fact, or as a reward for his doing extra chores around the house. He's more than old enough now to learn how to do things like empty a dishwasher, run a vacuum sweeper, take out the trash, etc., on his own, and his doing so will make life easier for you.
Lastly, your son would benefit enormously by becoming involved in something like sports, or perhaps going into scouting. If he's busy with these kinds of healthy activities after school, he won't have as much time to be on the computer, and more to the point, he'll be tired enough to sleep at night. Many a teenage boy's problems have been solved by being involved with sports, music, theater, or some other activity that gets him out of the house, off the computer, and doing something constructive when he's not in school.
- CammieLv 712 months ago
You need to parent with love.
We know now, that teens natural state is to stay up late and sleep late.It's just a shame that H.S. don't get that.
Work with your child to try and get him to sleep earlier.See what he has to say.Perhaps home work after dinner and no electronics after 10pm ? You both have to agree.try a shower at night and simple reading to get him tired .It is hard.You are not at war with your child.
- Anonymous12 months ago
Sorry，I don't know!
- linkus86Lv 712 months ago
Grow a spine and gain some common sense.
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- Star_of_DarknessLv 712 months ago
Take away all the electronics and refuse to allow him to have any more
Take the door away so he can't hide in his room and can't hide what he's doing
You MAKE him sit at the table and do his home work and he can't get up until it done. If he fails an is held back then let him fail and be held back
He can't sleep late if you dont let him. Dump his lazy *** out of bed if you need to
He can't sneak anything if you take all the electronics away, get rid of them, then search his room completely and take everything but the bed, the clothes YOU choose he can have and what he needs for school work
- Tri-HarderLv 712 months ago
Natural consequences. He doesn't get out of any activities or homework. He is required to be at school, activities, everything on time. He brings his homework to you when he gets home from school and does it in front of you. You say "no doubt" his homework is impacted. You should know, because you should be reviewing his homework as he does it.
Then if he stays up late and is tired, he's tired. He doesn't get to sleep in and miss karate. He doesn't get to be tardy to school.
- Anonymous12 months ago
Ask him about his plans for the future. Like what he would do if he doesn't get a good job and stuff. Ask him why he uses electronics so much. Ask him how he does at school. Maybe something happened at school. Maybe he doesn't have friends and so that's why he comes home straight after school and not hang out with others. Maybe he talks to online friends that lives in a different country and that's why he sleeps so late because of the time difference.
But the most simplest thing to do is; talking to him.