How to stop depression from ruining my relationship?

We have been together for 2 years now but my depression has significantly impacted our relationship. I am seeing a counsellor and have been for a few months now but there has been little improvement. I also suffer from chronic illness and am waiting a diagnosis so am frequently feeling low with pain and fatigue.... show more We have been together for 2 years now but my depression has significantly impacted our relationship. I am seeing a counsellor and have been for a few months now but there has been little improvement. I also suffer from chronic illness and am waiting a diagnosis so am frequently feeling low with pain and fatigue.
He has always been quite supportive but in the past some things he has lied to me about which has quite affected me and since then i have had some trust issues. But our relationship improved until my health got worse and i starts feeling low and depressed everyday and all day. I have self harmed before but i dont anymore. He tries to be there for me when i feel low but i know its a lot for him so i avoid becoming dependent on him. But when i feel low i tend to feel anxious and insecure, which in turn affects our relationship. No matter how much i try when i feel really low its hard to fight down the doubts in my mind. When i dont trust him he gets angry which i understand and then he avoids talking to me. This then spirals into arguments in which i end up saying stuff i dont mean.
I love him and he loves me but i hate myself for how much my issues with myself have come in-between us, I am so lucky and grateful for him but i am starting to feel like i can never get better and i want him to be happy so maybe he needs to move on.
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