Why do people always say you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, but once you are confident in yourself, they say you're a narcissist?

I've noticed this time and time again. When you are vocally hard on yourself, feeling and saying that you are ugly or awful, people get sad and say, "No, you're wonderful! I wish you believed that!" But, if you are confident, or even just dont vocally self-deprecate, and keep your negative self... show more I've noticed this time and time again. When you are vocally hard on yourself, feeling and saying that you are ugly or awful, people get sad and say, "No, you're wonderful! I wish you believed that!"
But, if you are confident, or even just dont vocally self-deprecate, and keep your negative self talk to yourself, they call you a narcissist. Why? What exactly do people want? you cant win. and then, if you purposefully start telling yourself in your mind that you suck, to make sure you dont become a narc, you are considered weird.. what do i do??
7 answers 7