I feel so bad? Why am I so useless?

So I'm 20 y/o, a girl. I met this guy (22) when I was having a night out in april, he told me he broke up with his gf of 3 years after she cheated on him (he was very drunk, and didn't remember he told me this the next day), but we talked for about a month and sometimes asked me to hang out but always at... show more So I'm 20 y/o, a girl. I met this guy (22) when I was having a night out in april, he told me he broke up with his gf of 3 years after she cheated on him (he was very drunk, and didn't remember he told me this the next day), but we talked for about a month and sometimes asked me to hang out but always at the most impossible moment and when I asked him to do something together he always had an excuse. We suddenly stopped talking after a month. I got over it. Then in july, after 2 months he suddenly send me a message again. We met during a night out and had a great time together, laughing, cuddling A LOT. He was very sweet for a couple weeks (but always had an excuse again why he couldn't meet up). Suddenly he started acting distant again and now I was him hugging a girl on someone else's Instagram story... it hurt me so bad... i feel like a useless loser. I feel like I'll Never find a man who will chose everything of me and only me... I got molested when i was 11 and I really feel like men only want 1 thing. I really feel like I'll Never be happy, I've been so unhappy for the past year... I don't wanna kill myself but sometimes i really wish I was just never born
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