Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 11 months ago

What does it mean when a guy you liked comes crying to you in the middle of the night and asks you if you had sex with your boyfriend?

And if you tell him no, that it hasnt happened yet (the truth) he begs you not to do it, and has tears in his eyes and you pull him close because you feel sorry for him and he rubs his face in the middle of your chest and hugs you tight, still begging you not to do it, because "you can never get back if you do".

The guy was my first love, first crush but he broke my heart refusing me and using the timing as an excuse (that he had issues - which was and it's still true - with his adoptive family that made him sick and got him anger issues), and he comes back to me after years of not hearing about him just because he knows I got engaged to a good guy I like so much (in a different way than him) and we'll probably get married in the future (that's our culture)

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  • 11 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    What he did shows he's very selfish and not very considerate of your feelings. It's your boyfriend and you should be able to do with your boyfriend as you please. Clearly the boy still has issues and he's using you (manipulating you) not to move on too so he will feel better.

    He may have rejected you but he's not allowing you to live your life either. This isn't love, not even friendship. Not unless he has good reasons for not liking your boyfriend which you don't mention and he doesn't seem to have. What does he even know, you haven't seen him for years.

    I mean, seriously, having sex with someone isn't the end of the world and even though you can't undo that but why is that any of his concern? To knock at your door like that isn't right and you're being played, intentionally or not. You should tell this guy to mind his own business.

    He might have been your first love, but that doesn't mean you should allow him to manipulate you like that. Begging you not to have sex in a relationship with your boyfriend? Really? Him being abused is no excuse for him to pull this **** on you nor should you allow it. If you do he'll only come back and do that again and again, hurting you again and again in the process.

    Advise him to get help getting himself and his life in order, but ask him to leave you be. He didn't want you so now he has to live with that. Your current boyfriend makes you happy so make the best out of it. Don't bring this type of drama in your life. You don't need it and you won't help your ex crush with it either. So tell him to get himself sorted and show him the door.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    11 months ago

    Means he's a perv who's obsessed with your virginity as if that's something precious to him. He either never got over you or he's just a patriarchal jerk trying to control you. Either way you're under no obligation to listen to his nonsense.

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  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    11 months ago

    It means you are letting him into your room in the middle of the night

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  • Anonymous
    11 months ago

    Yesterday you were the guy who went crying to his girlfriend in the middle of the night because she was happily engaged and he was not over her. Make up your mind.

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  • 11 months ago

    He wishes to keep alive some fantasy of having a life with you. Not accepting that you have moved on.

    Let us suppose that his wildest dreams came true. You had sex with your fiance and then something went terribly wrong and you broke up.

    Then came running to your first friend to beg him to come back to you ( Highly unlikely but this is HIS fantasy).

    So you had sex. So what. Who cares? Would it change what you could offer a future husband?

    So his SECOND fantasy is that somehow if a woman has had sex she is changed for evermore. And will henceforth be "different".

    So to your question. It means that he is living in a fantasy world and unless he grows up he will be a very unhappy person.

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  • Anonymous
    11 months ago

    get a restraining order.

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