I'm English and our law mostly agrees with you. Rape is defined in section 1 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 as non-consensual penetration of a vagina, mouth or anus with a penis. Back in the Sexual Offences Act 1956, which it mostly repealed, what you say actually was the definition - non-consensual penetration of a vagina with a penis.
It was changed in the interests of sexual equality, so that gay rape was also possible. Previously, it could only be called "gross indecency" but that covered all homosexual sex - and as two men having sex in private was made legal in 1967, time for a rethink was well overdue. A lot of the point of the 2003 Act was to give more equality. I remember it well at the time. It meant that kissing another man goodbye was now legal and not "grossly indecent".
As one of our politicians said, women "have not been issued with the right kit". She actually said this in a speech that was intended to be funny about military training - the lecture she attended as an army reservist was about keeping your genitals non-sweaty in hot countries and it made no sense to all the women there. What made Parliament (and me watching it on TV) fall about in laughter was that's a good point. Equality is a fine thing but let's face it, men and women are different. Our bits, er, are not the same.
So what if a woman forces herself on a man? Read on in the 2003 Act - section 2 defines the offence of "sexual assault by penetration". This covers that. And it has the same maximum punishment as rape, life imprisonment.
So you CAN do it. Define rape as what you want it to be, then define any other kind of forced sex as something else with the same sentence. It works for us.