Unusual situation?

I am a guy and my best friend is male too. We both are straight... We love women, we date women, but... Last week we had sex together. It all started as a joke. First we started masturbation, then we started touching each other and we had oral and anal sex. After that we felt so strange and we agreed to take some time off. Why that gapped? We are not gay, we LOVE WOMEN. I don't want to lose my best friend... Is gay sex normal between male friends? What should I do?

14 Answers

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  • 10 months ago

    Although it certainly is not extremely common, it is not very rare for straight friends to have sex with each other -- sometimes or just once.

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  • Sky
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    I don't know how common it is, but yes it is normal for male friends to have sex. Two close friends who have sexual needs and no mate to share it with can easily find a comfortable partner with each other. It's called friends-with-benefits sex, and/or may simply be experimentation. I've had sex a few times with a male friend of mine, and despite it being fun and feeling great, I'm still as heterosexual as I always was because I feel no emotional/romantic or physical/sexual attraction to guys (my friend is bisexual). It started out as talk, and then our first time was experimentation to see what it would be like, and subsequent times was friends-with-benefits. The key part was talking about it. We talked about it for several years before we actually did anything physical, and were both completely comfortable to move our friendship in that direction. FWB is not something to be jumped into without a lot of discussion and understanding.

    Assuming there's any truth to your anonymously posted story, what you should do is talk to your friend honestly about what happened and what your feelings are about it. You don't need to keep reassuring yourselves and each other how much you love women. Being heterosexual and loving women doesn't mean you don't, can't, or shouldn't enjoy sex with each other when that provides both of you a pleasurable outlet. But also, since you don't want to lose your best friend, tell him that as well, that the friendship means much more to you than sex, and that if sexual stuff can't be a comfortable part of the friendship then it shouldn't have any part of the friendship. You can't undo what happened but the two of you can decide how to move forward and whether or not to let it happen again.

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  • Fred
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    Back around 1990 they did sexual surveys of young men'ssexual attractions and experiences in US colleges. 80% of the college students admitted they had tried sexual stuff with at least one other male so as you can see whatyou did was not so weird. Most straight guys during their teenage years will get a little honest with a friend and then before they know it have had some sexual action with them and had enjoyed it which scares the hell out of some guys. It has nothing to do with being gay or turning gay and it was just sexual instinct kicking in for both of you and horniness taking over. It happens to most teenage males although few would ever admit it.

    Obviously this experience has shaken you and your friend's confidence in your straight sexuality and your reaction is basically to hide from each other so it cannot happen again. I myself have been sexual with male friends when I was a young guy and some of the friends once sexually excited acted like gay sluts on heat until they came, then felt very embarrassed about it as you are. Others saw it as just a bit of sex fun between 2 young guys who didn't have a girlfriend and believed that any sex is better than sitting at home jerking off. We all married and had families so it did not turn anyone gay and it was just honest young guys together who understood they were straight and just enjoyed some sexual action with another person even if it was a guy.

    I think you should call your friend and discuss this all with him and maybe show him this answer. Most guys have the ability to be sexual with other guys without being gay. Many believe most of us have at least a little bisexuality in us and it is there as a safety valve for our sexual frustrations. Most young guys in prison have dabbled in sex with other male prisoners as although they all laugh about it most understand that a little sexual fun in circumstances where there are no females to have sex with guys turn to other guys for sexual relief.

    As you have found out guy on guy sex actually feels very erotic and nice and the fact is straight guys can enjoy sex with other males as much as gay guys do. The difference for you and your friend is it was just a bit of sexual fun brought on by a want for some sexual contact with another person, where a gay person actually has sexual attractions to the same sex and is all they want. You know what you want as an adult to have a woman in your life and likely a family something no male can give you so you are as straight as you were before you had sex with your male friend.

    Some guys are quite relaxed about sex fun with a male friend until they can get a girlfriend to have sex with and will have sex fun with their male friend for a couple years or more until they can get the straight sex they really want. Personally I think you should accept it as a good sexual experience as by the sounds of it you both enjoyed all of it, and should stay friends and it is up to you if you want from time to time to relieve some sexual tension by having sex again and accept it for what it is just a bit if sexual fun between 2 sex starved guys. Remember society's beliefs about 2 guys not being allowed to have sex together came from the 1900s from Queen Victoria and the church and before that no one was worried about 2 young guys getting some sexual relief from each other. Homophobia came from bigoted upper class people and the church but in reality those 2 groups were the most sexual groups in society and had plenty of gay sex then preached on Sunday that it was a sin.

    So you and your friend should stop hiding from each other and accept you did nothing wrong and basically did what most normal young guys have done but will never admit. Plenty of straight guys are having sex with other guys as they have no female in their life so relax and stop worrying about it as when that special girl comes along you will find you lose all interest in sex fun with your friend.

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  • HMFan
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    Sometimes life takes you to strange places. He's your best friend so OBVIOUSLY there's something about him that you like (I assume he feels the same way about you). I also assume you trust one another, have shared information with one another that you might not share with anybody else, and have a unique connection that no one else has. The fact that it escalated to a physical expression of love and trust is not that surprising. It doesn't mean you're gay. But it does mean you shared something that's just between you two, it's not deviant, and hopefully will make you friendship stronger AS LONG AS you don't let the judgment of others or society convince you otherwise. Perhaps there was some part of you that could ONLY BE TAPPED INTO by this encounter with your friend. Not with women, not by yourself, not watching porn... Allow yourself the latitude to realize you shared something very special together; you "get" one another in ways that no one else does. As long as you and whatever partners you engage with don't have a problem with it, who cares how you (or others) label you? (Labels are for clothes, anyway...) Love is love and it can come in many forms. Accept it for what it is, be glad that you've experienced something many other people WON'T let themselves experience, be content knowing that you now know something new about yourself and that you trusted yourself (and your friend) to explore that. I'd also wager that your situation isn't as unusual as you may think ;-)

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  • 10 months ago

    Sex is a powerful force. When you're aroused, hormones are like alcohol or any other drug. They can suppress your inhibitions and lead you to do things you wouldn't intend to do otherwise. That's how teenagers get pregnant, one step leads to another. This is also why rigid labels are inadequate to describe sexuality.

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    I’d say your both bi curious as long as its true that the majority of your sexual history was with women. There is no shame in it. Read some coming out stories. Maybe look for some support by joining some bi groups. Drop by the local gay community center. Maybe check out a gay bar or two.

    The only things holding you guys up is your selves due to the homophobia you’ve been fed all your life. Learn to think for your self, not how bigots want to shame you into thinking. Love truth. Be your own best student.

    • Chris10 months agoReport

      If you attended any of the groups you suggested, maybe you would know sexuality is defined by attraction, not by action. He doesn't say anything about that or curiosity, nor if he enjoyed it or would consider it again with his friend or any other guy.

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  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    You aren't straight.

    You're both bisexual.

    No straight man would even consider having sex with another man.

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Two possibilities.

    1. It didn't happen, you're trolling.

    2. You guys are actually bisexual.

  • 10 months ago

    "Normal" is a poor choice of word to use. There is no such thing as normal.

    While I don't "normally" jump into bed with my friends, be them straight, gay or bisexual, thats not to say its not good for you.

    As you two did it by choice, then for you two its normal. That is all there is to it.

    This does not say in the future you each wont one day meet the women of your dreams. If that does not happen it will because of your poor choices rather than because you now and then enjoyed a sexual romp with your friend.

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  • 10 months ago

    Sex is sex and is not limited to anyone. Sexuality is not about sex, it is about attraction, love, commitment and relationships. Lots of straight guys have occasional sex with other guys because it is fun. That does not make them gay or bisexual. Lots of gay guys have occasional sex with women and that does not make them straight or bisexual either.

    If you enjoyed it, do it again. It hurts no-one.

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