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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesBooks & Authors · 9 months ago

Please improve this sentence?

I rub my eyes, as my vision becomes clear, and I see a giant yellow eye, behind the iron bars, watching me intently.

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  • 9 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I rub my eyes and, as my vision becomes clear, I see a giant yellow eye watching me intently from behind the iron bars.

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  • Marli
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    If you are so keen on writing in present tense: I rub my eyes. As my vision clears, I see a giant yellow eye watching me intently behind the iron bars.

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  • 9 months ago

    It's actual two sentences. NOT one sentence.

    I rubbed my eyes, clearing my vision. There was a giant yellow eye behind the iron bars, watching me intently.

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  • 9 months ago

    I would say “As I rub my eyes, my vision becomes clearer, and I see

    • Cogito
      Lv 7
      9 months agoReport

      Those commas are wrong.

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