red2queen asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 6 months ago

What do you think of this poem?

There's a voice inside my head

It tells me I'm already dead

I asked it when it saw me go

It laughed and told me

I should know

5 Answers

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  • Lôn
    Lv 7
    6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You need one more syllable on the first line...change there's to there is.

    There is a voice inside my head,

    It tells me I'm already dead.

    I asked it when it saw me go.

    It laughed and told me I should know!

    See...it flows much better.

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  • 6 months ago

    I like it a lot. It reminds me of Emily Dickinson's 'because I could not stop for Death'

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  • 6 months ago

    dead humor wonderfull

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  • hamnod
    Lv 4
    6 months ago

    five line do not make this the poem and you have a one line with only the three words. this is not poem you write like in a very poor way to describe and show what you mean. Now start again and this time write something that has structure and is not total gibberish

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  • 6 months ago

    Great start, let's hear the second verse! . How should you respond to this voice? You told us the issue, now resolve it

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