Of course you were abused. You were raped as well as a victim of incest. It doesn't matter that he was a STEP parent, it is still incest because he had legal parental control over you. Please do not listen to ignorant people here who are telling you that you were not a victim. You absolutely were, legally and morally. It doesn't matter if you initiated some of the sex. You were the CHILD, he was the adult. It is HIS responsibility to set appropriate boundaries. The reason why you likely began acting out sexually was because of the first night he came into your room and violated you. It is not at all uncommon for children who have been sexually abused to begin to act out sexually. I'm not entirely convinced that this "cuddling" you speak of was innocent. I think the cuddling was actually GROOMING. Pedophiles often groom their victims by cuddling, hugging, kissing, wrestling, tickling, "accidental" brushes against private parts, etc. This is an extremely common tactic. You need help and your former stepfather needs to be in PRISON. Please seek professional counseling right away. You must be able find a healthy way to cope and come to terms with what happened to you, or else it will eat you up and begin to manifest in some very unhealthy ways.