How to get over public humiliation, even if it was a long time ago?

a long time ago, well over a decade ago, i suffered many public embarrassments and humiliations in full view of a lot of people, often crowded places, because i have struggled with a personality disorder and had severe anger problems and i used to have anger outbursts which i couldn't control at the time...and... show more a long time ago, well over a decade ago, i suffered many public embarrassments and humiliations in full view of a lot of people, often crowded places, because i have struggled with a personality disorder and had severe anger problems and i used to have anger outbursts which i couldn't control at the time...and often times, i was physically attacked and overpowered by bigger stronger men than myself, and suffered embarrassment and was made to look ridiculous, embarrassed and humiliated in full view of crowds of people....many women being present too.


i realize that it was often my fault and i brought it on myself by shouting at people, getting full on aggressive and attacking bus shelters etc....but i had serious problems with a personality disorder and had anger i just couldn't control, and used to lose control of my impulses......now, thankfully i'm much better, older, wiser, in control more...and no longer have outbursts, even though i still struggle with anger......i have been through a lot in life and are waiting for therapy.

i'm now a man in my early forties, and when i think back to those times, when i was physically attacked and overpowered often, it makes me feel angry, even though i caused it, it feels like injustices were done to me and i brought shame and disgrace to myself?

is there a way, after all this time that i can come to terms with causing myself so much embarrassment in front of crowds of people?

sensible answers please.
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