Meryl asked in Food & DrinkCooking & Recipes · 6 months ago

Why does my fiance eat so much?

If theres food cooked and we have left overs , he will eat it all in one night!! And i cook enough for at least 3 nights for the both of us, but if he knows theres food he'll eat it all!!! Why?? What can I do?? If I say something he says I'm judging him... help??

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  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Everyone has different caloric needs. My mother used to be a minimalist in terms of serving sizes. She worked full time and the budget was tight. She fixed the plates and generally what was left was for another night. No seconds for the most part. His family may have been just bigger eaters. Talk to him honestly and say you'd like to save portions for other nights. You may have to rethink portion sizes but communication is key.

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  • Jane
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    It's not a problem unless he is overweight, or it's causing a problem with your household budget. And of course your time cooking- if you are the one that does all the cooking, you've spent time cooking ahead for 3 days and he eats it all.

    So if you need to batch cook as you don't have time to cook every day, put the extra portions in the freezer straight away so he doesn't see them as 'leftovers'. Talk with him about having extra food around so he can top up if he needs the calories- he could easily do a shop just for his own use if he needs extra food around, he can pay for and prepare it himself.

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    • C
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      Jane, you've hit the nail on the head. My ex was addicted to food. To him any food cooked by me was love and any criticism of the over-eating was seen as withholding love, and "hiding" food in the freezer was almost cheating. It was crazy. crazy making, and murder on the household budget!

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  • patty
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    if he is not fat then don't worry about it.

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  • 6 months ago

    It sounds like the two of you have different ideas of how to deal with food and meals.

    I suggest you think hard about why this might be and possibly even talk to a counselor or therapist about it and if the counselor or therapist thinks it’ appropriate, bring the fiance in and talk about it.

    It may seem like a drastic step to see a counselor, but eating is a very basic need and the two of you seem to have VERY different ideas and values about it. I also can’t see you and know only what you’ve shared. If he has a potential for a weight problem, or you have a tendency to withhold food from yourself, these could both be underlying issues. EVERYONE eats, typically more than once as day and to have a “conflict of values” over such an incredibly basic and everyday thing would be a priority for me to work out BEFORE you get married and turn it into a permanent problem.

    I suggest you look hard at why this is such a problem for you before you blame it on him.

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    • Meryl6 months agoReport

      Want to be with me if I was overweight but doesn't care if I ask him millions of times to lose weight or eat less.

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  • 6 months ago

    People have different caloric needs. A skinny girl who works at a desk can live fine off 1000 calories per day. A 6ft 5, 250lb construction worker who also goes to the gym might need 8000 per day.

    Calories are the unit of energy from breaking apart molecules of food items that would heat 1 liter of water by 1 degree Celsius. The comparison I think is clear is some people are vespas, some are used Honda Civics, fighter jets, etc. What you would eat in 3 days he obviously eats in one. The solution if you are committed to being the cook of the house is make much, much more.

    • Meryl6 months agoReport

      Ok well hes 6'4 255lbs and he doesn't do any heavy duty work. Hes a sales associate and he probably eats more then 8000 calories a day, hes overweight.

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  • 6 months ago

    Because he wants to eat. It could be because he needs more food than you offer as a "serving" or he could be an emotional eater who tends to overeat to cope with stress.

    You need to figure out what it is that is eating you:

    1. Feeding him costs too much because you have to double the quantity of food.

    2. You don't have leftovers for yourself because he eats them.

    3. He's overweight and overeats which decreases your interest in him and/or risks his health.

    4. Something else.

    Once you know the real issue or issues you an CALMLY address them. If you can't afford to fee him, let him know and agree on him covering some or all of the cost. If you want left overs, package what you want to have and get him to agree to leave that container alone. If he has health issues, ask him how you can support him in making better choices.

  • 6 months ago

    Make more. It’s an obvious compliment toward your cooking.

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  • 6 months ago

    Then from now on, HE pays for all the food, AND he does ALL the cooking. I guarantee he will eat less. If he does not cook well or does not have the time, then he needs to hire a chef to cook meals daily

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    • Vince Vargas6 months agoReport

      You assume he isn't already paying for all the food. It's possible he works long hours and doesn't have time to cook for himself. He needs to be more understanding since he doesn't do the cooking and allow some leftovers food for the next day.

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  • keerok
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Cook food that's good for only one meal. That should solve things. If you find it difficult to cook everyday, ask him to help out.

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  • Cara
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    I have had that experience all my married life! I soon learned to separate off anything I really wanted to keep for another meal. Or I simply don't bother. My husband loves good cooked food, and his mother told me he was always the same - as a child he ate and ate and ate - but he has always kept his weight down by exercise and by being generally active and busy. I think of it as a compliment to my cooking, and don't see it as a problem at all. If there ARE leftovers, he'll eat them tomorrow. Lovely.

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