I'm really hurting...?
Lately I've just been feeling so upset, and having some really dark thoughts (I'm only 14). First of all my mom is abusive everyday towards me and my sister verbally and also physically. She lets her friends tell me that I'm worthless and stupid (she is on and off with her friends but always goes back to them), honestly my mom is really desperate even if that means putting herself, and her needs before mine and my sisters. Constantly ignoring us, leaving us alone for hours. She does not care at all to be honest, she's even said it her self. My mom laughs when I'm really hurting and seems to think it's all one big joke even when I've thought about committing suicide, she says "Go ahead and go it". Every time I try to talk to her for just a simple reason, she blows up. I only live with my mom but my dads in my life and I told him be said he can't do anything. I don't know what to do I really need some help, as I am all alone right now.
She always cares more about her friend than me, and no I'm not being selfish or jealous. She's just always never there for me when I need it, instead shes with her friends.... :((