Dad is an alcoholic and my mother wants me to fix it as the only son. How do I do this?
I have two sisters but the burden is always put on me.
When he gets drunk my mother gets mad at me instead of him and I am usually not even there (I am 25 and out on my own). He's been an alcoholic for years but it has worsened in recent years. She says only I can save him. She refuses to do an intervention like I have suggested and makes me keep it a secret. I am starting to realize my mother is sicker then he is. What do I do? I have spoken to him about it and he denies it and says I am listening to my mother too much and curses about her.
- 6 months agoFavorite Answer
That’s unfair for your mother to burden you with that huge responsibility. Why is it you over your sisters who can save him? Maybe she has old fashioned views about boys having to be the man of the house. She should never bring her children into it. She should be making the decisions, and protecting you. You just have sympathy for her as she is probably burned out, and out of options, or has too much pride to ask for help outside the family. Your father needs to enter a medical facility on his own and accept treatment. He won’t be able to stop drinking immediately, he’ll need medication to stop the shakes, to slowly take the alcohol from his system. When he’s in remission he will have to attend AA meetings, and speak to others. What is it underlying the drinking? Maybe it is childhood trauma, but he needs to talk about his problems to a stranger outside the family, and not burden you. It’s not your fault, and it’s not your problem. I think you should write a letter to him and a separate letter to your mother telling them how you feel.
- 6 months ago
You can not fix an alcoholic, they have to FIX THEMSELVES.
- Judy and CharlieLv 76 months ago
You don't fix it because your Dad has to fix himself and I would just tell your mother this fact.
- PatriciaLv 76 months ago
You can't fix anyone else. If your father wishes to stop drinking and start feeling better, he will do it on his own.
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- PearlLv 76 months ago
i would just ask god to fix it since you wont be able to
- CBLv 76 months ago
How old are you? If over 18 move out - you didn't marry the lush - it is her problem and there is no way to 'fix' it unless the alcoholic wants it fixed.
- Jay RLv 76 months ago
Your mother wants to put an impossible burden on you. You can't fix his illness.
- HernandoLv 66 months ago
You cannot fix it. Only he can and only if he wants to. Check into an organization called Al-Anon, for the family of alcoholics.