I lost my spark, how do I get it back?

Hi, This is probably gonna sound arogant but when I was a kid I was a genius I started reading before anyone else i knew two languages (Bosnian and English) and because of this everybody disliked me. I was solving puzzles and math problems faster than everyone in my class. Even my older brother bullied me. I wanted... show more Hi,
This is probably gonna sound arogant but when I was a kid I was a genius I started reading before anyone else i knew two languages (Bosnian and English) and because of this everybody disliked me.
I was solving puzzles and math problems faster than everyone in my class. Even my older brother bullied me. I wanted to be a scientist and explore the secrets of the world. As I grew up, everyone kept calling me weird and I didnt have any friends.
I was alone. I didnt like that feeling of being lonely. So I decided to drop everything. I began socializing and making a fool out of myself instead of pursuing my dreams. I was 9 at this stage. 6 years passed and know I want to follow my dream, but I cant.
I have lost the interest in a goal I loved, and it pains me. I really want to be the boy with curiosity I was instead of a lowlly class clown. But I just dont have the ambition that was driving me as a boy. Please, I need help I am desperate!!!
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