I’m 21 and can’t cope with my Husbands death. Suicide is looking like a real possibility.?

The one year anniversary of my husbands death is coming up next week. This entire year has been simply excruciating. Hell on earth. We had gotten married when I was 19 and he was 21, we had dated for 5 years before we got married. we had just bought a house (which I lost because I could no longer afford it). We even had our future children’s rooms picked out. Ahhh my entire life has completely crumbled around me. I have been so depressed, I cry everyday. Most days I’m too sad to even eat food. It’s like my entire soul just aches. It just sucks because this isn’t a life. Many days I contemplate suicide because for me it’s just too painful to move on. Thinking about me one day being happy with another man just makes me sick.

I still text his phone, call him, and talk to him as if he is there. Even taking about him in past tense stings my heart.

I find that it’s hard to find anything worth living for. I have never thought about suicide but To me suicide is the only logical answer now...because I can’t live a life like this. It’s agony everyday, with no relief. I drink almost everyday and have been hooking up with random guys which is disgusting and embarrassing but honestly I just like having someone to sleep next too. What makes it even worse is all of it just makes me feel worse. My husband would be ashamed. I just want to be reunited with him.

2 Answers

  • 6 months ago

    I am sorry about your husband's death.

    Suicide is the wrong choice.

    God is real. God loves you. God loves you so much that He sent His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to the world to live a perfect, sinless life and to die on the cross and shed His precious blood as the redemption payment for your sins.

    That is correct! God sent Jesus to save you so you could be with both FOREVER. If God loves you, then you are truly loved.

    All you have to do is put your faith in Jesus Christ and what He did at the cross and repent of any sinful ways. That is it.

    Don't be scared to talk to Jesus. He wants you to come to Him with your problems. God wants you to give your troubles to Him to handle for He cares for you. Satan wants to take us away from God and Satan wants people to doubt God and His love for us. Don't believe Satan's lies. God is there waiting for you---seek Him with all of your heart, mind, soul, and strength.

    So seek Jesus Christ through reading the Bible and through a Bible-based church where they have classes on Jesus and how to live for Him and God the Father.

    God wants you to realize how special you are to Him.

    Read the story of Ruth (only 4 chapters) and see how a woman who had lost her husband becomes the mother of a child in the lineage of King David and later Jesus Christ.

    Any questions or comments, please leave in the comments section.

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  • 6 months ago

    This is sad to hear but there is nothing anyone can do to comfort you. When things like this happen the last person people turn to is God but im afraid that He is the only one who can confort you. Living your life now hooking up with random guys getting drunk and then committing suicide will not end your hurt. It will only cause you much more suffering and pain in a much darker place. God is the true comforter. Confess your sins to Him ask for forgiveness and cry unto Him to comfort you and He will. Jesus is our only hope.

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