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Marnie
Lv 4
Marnie asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 9 months ago

My dad told me yesterday that I'm not his.. I'm furious because Im sure he is we even have the same birthmark in the same place but his is?

much faded now.. when I was younger you could see it and I was surprised how identical it was to mine. Anyway he is convinced my mum cheated with a specific man and that I'm that mans daughter.. he said he would accept paternity test results but wont pay for them. I resent having to do it myself but feel like I have to just to prove it to him.. I'm extremely hurt by the offhand way in which he said "im not your dad" and I told him off today over the phone - he hung up on me! I'M SICK OF BEING THE GROWN UP ALL THE TIME UGH and I just don't know how to deal with this - I have no decent people in my life that I can talk to about this but I feel like I need someone I'm close to, to talk to. what should I do?

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  • Lili
    Lv 7
    9 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Personally, I wouldn't bother with the tests. His behavior would cause me to turn my back and have nothing to do with him. You don't have to prove anything to him.

    You are not required to associate with your relatives merely because they ARE your relatives.

    See a therapist, because it sounds like you have a lot of baggage, and you may need some professional help to unload it (which will include unloading your father and letting him stew in his own bile) and move on with your life.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    he mightve said that cause he was mad

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  • 9 months ago

    How very unkind of him! Do you think that there will come a time in the future when he is old and infirm he will want your love and support? You also need to talk to your mother: what is her opinion? Ask her if she will get a DNA test for you. Do you not have ant grandparents? Aunts, uncles or cousins? Good Luck!

    • Marnie
      Lv 4
      9 months agoReport

      Thanks, he is already old and infirm and has my love and support. Mum says he's crazy but I doubt she would pay for a test. My grandparents are dead and no contact with cousins or uncle..

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  • 9 months ago

    Point one is that the man you've called 'dad', isn't worth knowing, to have dropped your paternity on you in that way. Second point. He's not that worried about finding out or of course he'd pay for the test. So do with it what you will. Simplest solution? Ask your mum if therre"s any chance your dad could be right, and if, based on that, you feel you need to know, you then decide whether it's worth the expense of trying to find out. Please remember though that you can only discount your 'dad' as your father through a paternity test. You'd need another to discover who your real dad is. Personally I'd just be getting on with my life which is what matters. Not your biological father.

    • Marnie
      Lv 4
      9 months agoReport

      Thanks, but things are more complicated than what ive written here. my mum did cheat and my dad is not well.... its not easy to just |"get on with my life" my dad is my life

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