Am I wrong in some way? What vibe are you getting from me that I'm doing something wrong?

I feel like I just want to be gay. I want to be feminine. I want to express myself. I am gay. I feel like people especially my family try to keep me from being gay. I feel like the cough and clear their throat when I get into the mood. And it's like why do I not get to be myself. All I'm doing is behaving... show more I feel like I just want to be gay. I want to be feminine. I want to express myself. I am gay. I feel like people especially my family try to keep me from being gay. I feel like the cough and clear their throat when I get into the mood. And it's like why do I not get to be myself. All I'm doing is behaving effeminately and being gay. It's like if I get into acting feminine, as soon as they see it. They start coughing and clearing their throat. I just want to show off my personality. Get it out there. Get some experience. But people keep blocking me with mean talk and loud noises. They will talk in mean voices and be like "oooohhhhhh" in their intonation when they say words. It's not that they're saying "ooooh" it just is like that cartoon jealous bully tone that they use in Arthur (specifically muffy). When they do that I feel like I can't be me anymore, and I just go back to normal non feminine mode. It's boring it's not me.
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