My son is threatening to commit suicide?
I have a son in his late teens who graduated high school last year, and he didn't want to get a job or continue his education (he is extremely lazy and a little immature for his age). I told him last week that he needed to (at least try to) get a job by September 1st or I'm going to throw him out and let him be homeless. I'm being extremely tough on him and I don't care how he feels about it. If he's miserable, so be it. I'm not going to treat him like a kid anymore and I won't be patting his back unless he repents of this sluggishness and childlike behavior. He has been screaming and cursing at me a lot lately (saying he hates me). Ever since I told him I was going to kick him out, he has done nothing but lie in bed crying and being angry at me (telling me he can't do it and that this is too hard on him). I spoke with my neighbor and she said giving all this tough love is the correct thing to do, and that she would do the same. Now, just today, I saw him writing a letter. I asked what he was doing and he told me he planned to end his life at the end of the month. I read what he wrote and it was very concerning. I'm going to do whatever I can to prevent him from taking his life, but this doesn't mean he is exempt from getting a job. He needs to suck it up, I will not be around forever to support him. He often complains of back pain, fatigue, and that I'm making him miserable. I'm only being tough because I'm trying to make him want to get a job.
What would you do?
To everyone saying I parented him wrong during his childhood, I warned him about all this back when he started high school. He struggled a lot in school and he won't repent of his sluggishness no matter what happens. I am fed up with it and now that he's an adult, I can throw him out of my house unless he changes. He tells me he cannot get a job due to pain/health problems but I'm not taking that. Adulthood is not full of rainbows and flowers and he needs to learn that.
- oldprofLv 76 months agoFavorite Answer
Have him tested for autism. He has all the symptoms in what you describe. If that's the issue, it can be treated, but only by professional help.
- CathyLv 46 months ago
Tell your son it is illegal to kill someone.
Unless you are in the United States military
- Anonymous6 months ago
You’d be doing the right thing if he didn’t have health issues if you actually care about him get him help first. Mental and physical health are both very important he would miss many days of work anyways coming from someone else who suffers from fatigue. There are many diseases that causes what symptoms he has besides depression that can trick them into thinking that it’s depression, I am not trying to scare you but I am saying if you truly care about your son get him help. Now the doctor will probably say for him to try eating healthy and drink more water which your son does sound a bit to stubborn to do that if you told him but if you care about him again take him to the doctor I think that’s what they will more likely say they did to me maybe he’d listen to them better then you. Are you really just being tough or rude? I mean there is a difference being rude can affect your child not as bad as being tough.
- Common SenseLv 76 months ago
Get off of your high horse for a moment there, buddy.
Your son is crying out for help and threatening to kill himself. As his parent, you need to get him some psychological help, like yesterday. Have him committed for 48 or 72 hours so he can be evaluated and perhaps get on some medication that will help him with his depression.
Otherwise, you are going to have a harder time with him.
First of all, you do have some accountability here. Who is washing his cothing with who's laundry detergent. Who is cooking his meals and paying the grocery bill? Who is paying for his internet, cable and perhaps cell phone? Who is cleaning up a him. When was the last time he did all of the dishes, washed the whole bathroom or vacuumed his room?
If he is not pulling his own weight and you are doing it for him, no freaking wonder he is unemployed, he has it all without having to work.
UNPLUG EVERYTHING. STOP FEEDING HIM. STOP MAKING HIS LIFE FREELOADING COMFORTABLE.
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- Anonymous6 months ago
You should drop your tough love approach on one condition from him. That he go to get counseling. But that is non-negotiable.
He is despairing, which is unrealistic. An impartial counselor can get him to believe in real possibilities, whatever for him they may be. We all have frozen in fear at certain points in our life. The fact is, that while the brass ring may be illusive, mere survival in society is very very easy.
Not a good point to make to him, but even if he were to end up on SSI he would need much support from counselors to get it. I don't mean to say this is what to expect. It is a common time to lose it, after graduating with no plans for the future. Maybe he should hitchhike cross country.
- FoofaLv 76 months ago
If you don't intercede, enjoy his funeral. The fact that you didn't force him into the car and take him to an acute psych intake facility is major failing on your part. Tough love doesn't work when someone is mentally ill. Either get him some help or face the consequences. If he's depressed enough to be suicidal he CAN'T "just get a job". He's not fit for work.
- PearlLv 76 months ago
i wouldve just told him he needs to look for work if he wants to stay there
- Anonymous6 months ago
This is perhaps the lamest troll post this week. Not only are you not a parent, but, I doubt you are an adult. Please collect the Darwin award for your 'efforts'.
- KidddasLv 76 months ago
U should hold hands with him and talk to him.
He should see a therapist or get counseling about this.
He should get an employment specialist to help him find a job.
- MarkLv 76 months ago
So you came on here to troll about your abysmal parenting skills. How productive!