Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 6 months ago

Is it really over or will he come back again?

He has a lot of emotional issues and baggage from a previous relationship. We had a fight, I blew up at him for being distant and told him I wanted my stuff back even though I didn't mean it. We both then apologized and worked it out that night. Just as we were getting closer, literally next day he said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship because he was still trying to figure out his life and had too much going on with his job and his young child. He said our connection was very real which freaks him out and he needs some time. This is the second time he broke it off, the first time he returned a month later begging for a second chance. But this time we were much closer and I had some of my things at his house. He dropped them off a couple days ago and I feel like this time its final and he's not coming back. I miss him like crazy but I'm staying strong and won't be reaching out to him unless he does. Will he come back again?

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Neither of you are ready to make a relationship work, so should he come back, you two will only end up breaking up again.

    Isn’t it just simpler to work through the pain of this breakup, rather than going through breakup after breakup with all the ongoing and repeated pain of it?

    - He has emotional issues

    - He has not resolved the baggage from his previous relationship

    - Neither of you face and work with your own inner emotions, so you both try to blame each other and them try to make the other person change … this is why you two fight.

    - You blew up at him. Love requires the maturity to NOT blow up, but to remain gentle and respectful even when you are hurt and don’t like what is happening.

    - You told him something out of anger that you didn’t mean. The intent was to hurt him .. this is not what love does.

    - The connection between you two is real .. real toxic. And NOT one OF actual love. Need, dependency, self-centered attachment and caring about how we feel rather than our partner’s needs .. this isn’t love. It is a recipe for disaster, and you have seen this but refuse to face the reality of it.

    - Missing him is ONLY a “withdrawal symptom” of your addiction to your neediness and your emptiness inside. It will pass, but you have to have the patience and tolerance and NOT allow yourself to dwell on the past. And he SHOULD be your past.

    HE needs to be alone until he resolves his past issues, and can face and work with his own emotional discomforts.

    YOU need to be alone until you are happy being alone, and comfortable supporting yourself and seeing yourself as able to make your future work without leaning on someone else.

    We never end up happier with someone else, than we were happy when we were single. And since you are not ready to make a relationship work, it is far better to remain single and work on your emotional wholeness rather than getting into relationship-after-relationship that blows up in your face … Or YOU will end up unable to open up to the fearful vulnerability that real love requires.

    • J
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      the best answer ever !!!

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  • J
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    he don't know, but one thing is for sure he does have a ton of emotional baggage, even if he comes back why would you do that yo your self a third time?

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