Is it possible for people to get back together in the future?

my ex boyfriend of 1 year and 5 months recently broke up with me. He says it’s because we are going to College and he doesn’t want to hurt or disappoint me if when things get difficult. It is also a pivotal point for the sport he’s playing and if he doesn’t make it and focus then he wouldn’t have a good future. I also need to start focusing on school as I am planning to get into med school and pursue a career as a doctor. He says he cares and still has feelings for me but he doesn’t want to be together. He’s not the type of guy that hurts me if he didn’t think it was best for my and his future. I also know that this break up was hurting him a lot because he cried a lot after the break up and he cried the last time I talked to him. We had a really strong relationship and were like two peas in a pod. We were always happiest around each other. We were both each other’s first loves. I understand that I need to move on and grow into my own person. It feels like something is telling me to stop worrying and trust the process because it is not the end for us. I’m not a big fan of believing in fate but I just don’t think that feelings and love like that can disappear

2 Answers

  • 6 months ago

    If there's mutual true love in the relationship, you both are strong people, and you have lots of things in common - you never know what will happen.

    Here's some information about love from the books True Love Lasts, Straight Talk About Teen Dating, and Straight Talk About Dating:

    “Unfortunately, lots of people don’t know what true love is and that’s a big reason why a large number of marriage relationships are unhappy. Many people think that true love is just a feeling. You know, the wonderful head spinning feeling of being “in love.”

    If true love is just a feeling, feelings come and go. But true love doesn't come and go. True love is patient and kind. It isn’t jealous, rude, selfish, controlling, or easily angered. It forgives. It’s supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.

    Unlike the feeling of being “in love” which is relatively easy to get especially during dating, true love usually develops slowly over a significant period of time (often years). In order to develop true love for someone you really have to know them well – which means that you have had a chance to observe their behavior in all types of situations (pay special attention to how they react when things go wrong or they don’t get their way). True love is so much more than just the feeling of being “in love” - it’s supposed to be a mutual lifelong commitment. When you say that you love your significant other, you’re saying that you’re committed to loving them for the rest of your life - for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death do you part. True love lasts - it almost never fails.

    Think of it this way, if a person has true love for another person, it’s like the sun - it’s always there no matter what (remember that even at night, the sun is still there, it’s just shining on the other side of the earth - and when it’s cloudy outside the sun is also still there, it’s just behind the clouds).

    On the other hand, the feeling of being “in love” is like sunshine - even though we’d like it to be sunny every day, the truth is that the amount of sunshine changes regularly. Some days it’s nice and sunny and the feeling of being “in love” is strong, on others it’s partly cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is there but it’s not very strong, and on other days it’s cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is barely there at all. I’m hoping that this explanation is helping you to see that it’s possible for a person to have true love for another person and not have a strong intense feeling of being “in love” with that person at a particular moment. (If you talk with married couples, I think they’ll tell you that the strength of their feelings of being “in love” changes regularly.)

    So when you hear someone say, “I don't love him or her anymore” - take it for what it usually is. It’s usually someone saying that they’ve lost the feeling of being “in love”, that they don’t know how or they’re not willing to make the effort required to get the feeling back, and that they probably never had true love for their significant other to begin with because true love almost never fails.

    Many times I’ve heard young women say, “my boyfriend loves me.” Unfortunately, most of these women have been fooled. How could their boyfriend possibly have true love for them if their boyfriend doesn’t even know what true love is? Sadly many people marry when one or both people don't have true love for the other - and the result is usually divorce because it's hard to keep a marriage together when it's based only on the feeling of being "in love."

    My first suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already). A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), puts forth their best effort, and displays self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money).

    It’s going to be tough, but my second suggestion is that you forget about this guy unless he’s a strong person with whom you feel you could one day develop mutual true love with, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

    (Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

    Hope this helps!

    Source(s): True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults, Straight Talk About Teen Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 13-19, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
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  • 6 months ago

    Love like that doesn't disappear, but like all things in life it slowly fades into the past as you live your life and experience new things and meet new people. All your life experiences make up who you are. As you both are following very different paths the likelyhood that you'll meet up again in the future and have the same relationship is very unlikely.

    For now, move forward, enjoy the people and places you are going to experience. And consider this relationship as a great patch in your quilt of life.

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