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I want to go to a college in another state but my parents want me to stay home. What do I do?

I'm 15 and a sophmore in high school. I'm already making plans for myself to go to University of South Carolina for college. However, I don't really wanna tell my parents my plans because they will probably diss them. USC is my dream college and my boyfriend and I are both planning to go there together. My parents don;t want me to move away because they are scared that something will happen to me or that it's too dangerous for me. I really appreciate that they are being so caring for me. So can someone please give me good advice on how I'm supposed to tell my parents that I want to go to SC and move there for college?

8 Answers

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  • zipper
    Lv 6
    9 months ago

    I made that mistake, staying in state is a bit cheaper, you can live at home and eat at home; which means no room and board payments and that they can afford to send you to college. And your chance of getting employment increase with a local college degree if you plan to stay in that state. Just go to a school that is well known and widely excepted in the field you plan to major in!

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    You have at least a year and a half. Don’t want to hear it, but you and your boyfriend could no longer be together.

    One of you could get at USC and the other not get in.

    Statistic show most couple will not still be together from high through college.

    Go on college visit with your parents. See other schools. Meet with admissions take a tour of the campus. Have you even been to USC.

    We went on a visit to a university we thought was perfect for my daughter in every way. Neither of us liked it once we went there for a visit, which surprise us.

    Cost is a HUGE issue. Out of state tuition is extremely high. It will be your debt to pay off

    Going on campus visit with your parents will help them too. They can see all the other students there. Security measures dorms and the campus have. In two years you will grow up a lot. You and your parents will be more ready for you to go off to college.

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  • 9 months ago

    Would you still want to go to USC if your boyfriend wasnt going there? You are at least two years away from college. How do you know that he will be your boyfriend in two years. Im almost certain that he will not be.

    The fact that you mentioned your boyfriend is a red flag. red flag. Your priorities are misplaced. If you are counting on your boyfriend being your bodyguard forget it. You probably wont see each other much or be in the same classes. I dont care what you think now about staying together forever. Have you two planned on what to do if either you or he meets someone else? Because you will meet hundreds of other people.

    I think you are sincere but you have dreams and not real plans. Have you discussed staying together in college with your boyfriend? Because he can change his mind anytime and he knows this. You are not married and there is no obligation to stay together. I dont want to hear about true love. I dont care what you believe now or what he tells you. He will tell you what you want to hear to keep you happy because he doesnt want to hurt you.

    Take the boyfriend out of the picture. Is your dream to go to college or to go to USC? Because it isnt the same. If you want to go to college and have your parents pay for it then go to a local school. If you can pay for USC yourself then go to USC. Sounds like they dont want you to go AWAY from them where they have to worry are you safe. But you can get attacked on a local campus too. Or hit by a bus. You need to talk with them some more about their fears. You h ave to convince them that you wont join a clt or wander a dark campus alone at night. Their goal is to keep you safe because parents really do believe that if anything happens to you it is their fault and then they have to die. Really. That is the fear.

    • :)
      Lv 5
      9 months agoReport

      Thank you! Finally someone who mentioned the boyfriend. I’m surprised no one else besides us called out how problematic it is that her school choice is partially based on a boy.

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  • 9 months ago

    How mature do you act now? Are you another teen prone to "stupid kid tricks?" Or do you do well in school, take good care of yourself, your clothes, your room, etc.? Pitch in on household chores (you're part of the household, everybody helps out!)? Do you make reasonably good decisions, or foul up time & again? By 15, you should be able to pretty much take good care of yourself & your possessions, be competent at laundry & ironing, cleaning your room, keeping a positive attitude, thinking things through instead of being irresponsible or "just plain impetuous & stupid."

    Got all those ducks in a row? Then it is time to talk to your parents about expanding your horizons, expanding your boundaries, as so far you can manage yourself well. Next step is time to discuss college financial planning - in a general way to start! - with parents. Don't whine. Don't start off with South Carolina (you may find a better school!). Build your discussions step-by-step.

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  • MS
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    You've got plenty of time to make that decision. In the meantime, maybe you can try to build some trust and goodwill with your parents. Take them with you to visit the campus and get an idea of its safety. However, going to USC as an out-of-state student is exceptionally expensive; they do have some good scholarship programs, but it is not a cheap place to attend. That may be some of their concern as well.

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  • :)
    Lv 5
    9 months ago

    Planning to go to the same place as your boyfriend, who might not be your boyfriend by graduation is always a bad idea. I’ve seen girls do it, and some of them ended up transferring after the break up. Hopefully you like the school for other reasons rather then him!

    If they’re paying, and you don’t plan on helping to pay at all, you kind of have very little say. You can definitely continue to plead with them, and discuss it like a mature adult. But it’s their say over yours. Out of state public schools tend to be very expensive so hopefully you get a scholarship and you’re prepared to be an independent student if your parents refuse to pay.

    The good news is, it’s not time for you to apply yet. You have two years to try to slowly convince them.

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  • 9 months ago

    Stop worrying about it. You don't need to apply to colleges for another 2 years. By then you'll be older, and your parents will have more trust with you. At that point, you can present them with the safety statistics on the college campus- all state schools publish them. Campuses are much safer than your parents think they are.

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  • 9 months ago

    Do what you feel is best in your heart. The worst day of a parents life is when they’re kids leave home. But we have to leave home and create a new home and become the men and women we are bound to be. Do what you feel is best. I don’t want you to do something your parents want you to do and you regret.

    • Katie9 months agoReport

      thank u

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