Anyone willing to read and give me feedback of my new erotica?
The erotica I recently wrote that I want it reviewed is in my blog.
- MsBittnerLv 76 months agoFavorite Answer
I write erotica for commercial publication, so I'm qualified to give feedback.
Your verb tenses are all over the place. You open with present, present, past, past. Any acquisitions editor now has her feelers up for further mistakes. And you do not disappoint, with a comma error in the next paragraph, as well as wordiness and a factual mistake. At this point, most editors would move your manuscript to the pile of rejections. But let's say she's having a pretty good day and it's been a while since she saw interracial erotic fiction.
The third paragraph contains mistakes in capitalization and subject-verb agreement. She's done here, without having gotten to any sexual content at all.
That in itself is a problem. Not that you have to open with sexual content, but that you cannot open with an info-dump explaining the situation in which the characters find themselves. Add to that the fact that you're telling instead of showing, and it's a poor opening.
There was a time when graphic sexual material could be poorly written and still find an audience, but that time ended several decades back. Now the genre is bound by the same standards as other fiction.
Rather than getting angry or discouraged--natural reactions anyone could understand--I urge you to up your game and further educate yourself on writing better. One way is by getting a grammar book and going through it beginning to end, taking all the time you need to fully understand, master, and apply every single thing in it. It helps to make a document rephrasing the rules you didn't already know in your own words, inventing examples to illustrate each one, and using it as a study guide.
Most wanna-be writers who don't yet have really good written English aren't willing to work that hard. Are you?
- SpeedLv 76 months ago
I hesitate, because your question contains two gross mistakes with written English. So my review of your erotica, or any other writing you did, would be likely to hurt your feelings.
I recognize that lots of native speakers were very poorly served by their schools, and that many people speaking English as a second (or third, or tenth) language are prone to errors, but when you write in English, you need complete mastery.
- pianomanLv 76 months ago
Is that the title of your book?