Why do people stare at me when my boyfriend goes off on one?
I'm dating this guy who's quite outspoken, it seems wherever we go he always clashes with people, usually staff. And when he goes off on one i'd just stand there quietly and not get involved, i certainly dont join him. We'd be in the store then he'll be complaining to the manager that one of the other staff did this or that, then they'd stare at me like they expect me to calm him down or side against him or something. We'll be in a restaurant then he'll complain about the waiters bad attitude, then they'd look at me like they expect me to say something. Are they trying to divide us or something? I'm with him so naturally I will always side with him.
- 9 months ago
They are thinking what kind of woman would be with a loser like this?
- FoofaLv 79 months ago
Like it or not his behavior reflects onto you (and not positively). No one's trying to "divide" you, they think you're both obnoxious. One wonders why you'd be with such a lout.
- 9 months ago
They're probably wondering what the hell you're doing with such an @$$h0!e. And, his behavior should raise some red flags with you as well.
J.K. Rowling make a very astute observation about human behavior in "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," when Sirius Black says to Harry and Ron, "If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." This isn't saying that waiters and sales clerks are inferior people to your BF, but in a restaurant/retail situation, they do occupy an inferior position.
I would be very concerned that as you became more and more involved in this relationship, your BF will feel that he is in an increasing position of superiority to you, do everything he can to make you as dependent on him as possible, and begin to treat you like you see him treat waiter, cashiers, sales clerks, etc.
I would also be very concerned that he's got some serious anger management issues which, down the road could be the source of some fat lips and black eyes on your part. Actually, I'd probably tell this loser to get lost immediately.
- NitroLv 59 months ago
They shouldn't take it out on you. But I do think that his behavior is a red flag. If he's constantly having problems with other people, then it's a sign that he's the one with the problem.
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- Stephen McBrideLv 69 months ago
They feel bad for you.
- 9 months ago
I think it has to do with him being loud and causing a scene ngl.
- KellyLv 79 months ago
I would just wonder if you were safe and if he's abusive to you so you don't speak because you're afraid to.
There's a fine line between being "outspoken" and being an a-hole, I'm guessing he's the latter. It's not everyone else.
Pay attention to how a guy treats servers and handles conflict because that is how he will be with you, too.
For me when I was dating my husband that absolutely would have been a deal breaker for me, that's not something I'll put up with. He however is nice and treats everyone with respect. If his order is wrong, or something with the food he will address it, but he's nice about it.
Also, it is not wise to be be mean to people who will be handling your food...
- EvaLv 59 months ago
They wonder why you're with such a jerk. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat waitstaff. When you just stand there and don't say anything, they think you're a jerk just like him. In my experience when someone thinks that everyone else is an AH, they're usually the one that is. Chronic complainers are no fun to be around.
- MeLv 69 months ago
It seems he does a lot of complaining about everything. Maybe they feel sorry for you.
- katydidLv 79 months ago
I would bet they are staring at you wondering how and why you put up with such a negative, complaining scene maker.