Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 year ago

Is it normal for your father to be rude and say hurtful things when he doesn't agree with your decision?

I am a current college student who still lives at home with her parents. Tonight, I asked my parents if I could go out with friends to another state after (God forbid) 9:00 PM (please, not the sarcasm).

My father said he didn't think I should go. When I calmly asked him where his opinion was coming from, he flipped out, claimed that I was arguing with him, and proceeded to say a lot of unrepeatable and unmentionable things to me. He told me that if I wanted to go, then I could (in much more colorful language), but that if something bad happened to me, I shouldn't go crawling back home to him.

Mind you, I have rarely ever gone out late. All through college I never hung out with friends past 8:00 PM because my father was so unproductive. Even in all my time in college so far, I can count the number of times I have stayed out late on one hand.

So, the point I am trying to make here, is, if this is normal behavior for a parent?

Update:

I would just like to add that I have always been a good daughter, I always did well in school and listened to everything my parents have told me. My father has just always been very overprotective and it has seriously impeded my social growth and development in high school and even now in college.

I don't understand where his reaction came from. He started the conversation off in an angry manner and things only got worse once I calmly and politely questioned where his opinion was coming from.

7 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    12 months ago

    That's probably a little extreme. But you leave out your age and that's important information for us to determine whether your father's overprotective or doing the job correctly (if a bit overzealously).

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    i dont think so and it wouldnt hurt to move out

  • 1 year ago

    The fact is that you asked permission. You asking permission in no way means they have to give you permission. Try working on having a more adult relationship with your parents. That can require a few babysteps before you both realize that you simply ARE an independent adult. Sometimes that simply doesn't happen until you are fully self supporting.

    I think it's normal for legal adults to resent when they are treated like children. However, when they have a childish relationship with their parent... it's equally stressful on both sides.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Not normal. Most modern parents are quite open especially with college going children. Unless your area is highly dangerous, then I see no reason to restrict your growing independence.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    I’m not sure what normal is really. All families pretend to be normal but have their flaws. Is it nice? Hell no. Is it fair? Far from it. But is it normal? I’m not sure. No one really displays this sort of thing so no one really knows if it’s normal.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Just remember its really hard being a parent. Lots of stress with situations and money, and some handle it better then others of course but its not easy. That being said you are old enough to do what you want so most wouldnt react the way he did, but its also a nice benefit not paying rent so it is what it is.

  • donnie
    Lv 4
    1 year ago

    No that is not normal. Maybe talk with your school counselor.

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