How do I tell him I'm not ready without killing the mood?

I live in a liberal city that has a surplus of eligible men and women and have to say it has been the most difficult place I have lived to attempt a committed relationship. I think the values of people here don't align with me and really don't know how to navigate this city dating! I have attempted casual flings and it is not for me, but I see many of them not only expect it but feel entitled by talking over text about what they want to happen the first time for the date. Mind you these are men I met in real life not online. I like to wait to be intimate and really am interested in creating an emotional bond and wanting something long term and to weed out anyone else that is casual, not interested to know me as a person or wants to rush things. I also have a daughter so I have limited time to date so I don't want to waste it with the wrong energy. What do I do?!

3 Answers

  • 6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You shut down those jerks who want to discuss how they want you to perform sexually on the first date and not speak with them again. What a lousy pit of soul devouring men you have fallen into! Climb OUT of that pit, women. There are good guys too.

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  • Brian
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Just be honest and always be yourself! If the guy is a keeper he'll respect your wishes and he'll wait for you to be ready. If he doesn't he won't respect you as a person in the future anyway so it's a great filter to have. If they don't like it... too bad. They can't punish you for being honest.

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  • 6 months ago

    You just tell him you're not ready... it's simple as that. If you're not, you're not. He either has to accept it or go on his merry way. And if he goes, he wasn't worth your time in the first place.

    You really need to think of your self respect, dignity and your personal boundaries, and use them

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