Let go of your bf, and look for a guy who is not so insecure or afraid. Your bf is not relationship-material.
Also understand that love will not even START to grow until two people have been living as partners, merging all interests/matters, for AT LEAST 2 years or more.
What we call "love" is a temporary state, based on how WE feel, on what WE want .. it is selfishness and love is not about selfish emotions. In fact, the more selfish we are, the more we will end up wrecking the relationship. The infatuation of "in love" never lasts.
As for changing others, controlling others ... cannot be done. It is hard enough to change OURSELVES, and unless we can literally reach into someone's brain and rewire their pathways there, don't expect to be able to change someone else.