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Native English speakers, can you please help me with these issues?

Is this paragraph free of mistakes:

"We once conducted an INQUIRY about stress.

At the beginning, we obviously collected some personal data, such as name, age and profession, I no longer recall if if we asked anything else, but at least I'm sure we asked those three DATA.

Aside from that, we asked if the respondents felt stress in their profession, how they managed it, and if this had ever had any effects on their health."

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago
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    No, it is not free of mistakes. Here are a few suggested corrections:

    "We once conducted a SURVEY about stress.

    At the beginning, we collected some personal data, such as name, age and profession. I no longer recall whether we asked any other identifying questions, but I'm sure we asked at least those three.

    Aside from THOSE, we asked WHETHER the respondents felt stress in their profession, how they managed it, and WHETHER this had ever had any effects on their health."

    Apart from grammar and vocabulary, such personal data should never be collected if the researchers have any hopes that the respondents will tell the truth.

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